Never take an IQ test

Tuesday, 22 July 2003

My thesis is: One should never take an IQ test.

My supporting points are as follows.

1) They are culturally biased. After all, in some societies a diagonally bisected square doesn’t make two isosceles triangles but a diagram of the social dichotomy wherein the three unified sides of the upper-class hold down the empty ray of the under-privileged.

2) One never thinks that one will have a low or even average IQ. So if you find out that you have a low or average IQ, you will probably be disappointed and perhaps lose an edge of confidence that would otherwise serve you well. No matter how stupid you are, confidence is a good trait. Plenty of marginal minds have made excellent businessmen and world leaders and they couldn’t have if they’d know they had IQs of 92. Confidence, honesty, and a work ethic go farther than 200 IQ points any given weekday.

3) If you find out you have a high IQ, say 130 which some say is genius level, well mostly Mensa says that, others say 140, but their aim is a bit low, don’t you agree? One gets the distinct the impression the organization’s founders had a little trouble doing harmonic means without paper. Let’s call it 150 or better still, 160! Anyway, if you find out you have a high IQ, you are not any better off. Sure you’re smarter, but that doesn’t teach you anything, it just makes it easier to learn. When things come easily, one gets lazy, overconfident, smug, and superior. Which leads to fallibility, arrogance, stagnation, emotional regression, friendlessness, drinking, foul language, insomnia, trying to act clever when you have no material and no one to pick on, the use of pretentious abbreviations, &c.

It’s a no win situation. So, in conclusion, never take an IQ test and by no means ever admit to having done it if you already have.

6 comments · Commenting is closed
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Count Zero

Re: Never take an IQ test

I am willing to bet your IQ is under 120. Bitter Much?

By Count Zero on 19 September 2007 · 03:25

A is A

count zero interrupt

OMG, I’m so embarrassed now that my secret is out… How could you let them all know! If this isn’t a three exclamation point situation I don’t know if I’ll ever have one!!!

On the other paw, comprehend reading much?

By A is A on 19 September 2007 · 06:42


Re: Never take an IQ test

Bitter Mulch® is registered trademark, Count Zero. Ashley and I sell that and other high quality organic products to misanthropic gardeners. Dude, when you post something that looks almost like it, you're fucking with our brand.

By Vagrant on 19 September 2007 · 11:45

A is A

Re^2: Never take an IQ test

You’re fucking with our brand.

That’s my new catchphrase. I will reply to everything anyone says with it. I am enamored.

Perhaps you knew b/c you’re clever/lucky but “bitter much” actually appeared—well, was displayed in an invisible sort of way—in a piece last week directed at me by myself. For a moment I thought I’d been sleep-commenting. I simply must try the abusive commenter sock puppet schtick. Could do wonders for my circulation. No thrombosis for me.

Or perhaps a RHCP version—the cock puppet—

RHCP with socks upon their cocks.

By A is A on 19 September 2007 · 17:45


Re^4: Never take an IQ test

I probably did notice, but I'm too stupid to remember. Damn Count Zero to hell for making me realize my failings! May his brand sour and his penis get caught in a trash compactor. Anyway, I always click on anything that looks like it might have hidden treasure behind it. Those wee, semi-transparent things you use are bait, pure and simple, to a snoop like me. I suppose one day I'll click and a tiger will come roaring out of my screen to eat me. But that's life, I guess.

Take that phrase and use it whenever, wherever, however. It's been GPLed.

By Vagrant on 19 September 2007 · 18:13

A is A

Re^5: Never take an IQ test

Now all I can think of is Tiger Balm and Girl Hitler. How in the Hell is there not an image of this online to be found…? Serves me right for not buying the DVDs yet.

By A is A on 19 September 2007 · 19:08