Kill all Americans

Saturday, 13 March 2004

Writing a report to follow “I am selling a nuclear bomb in good working order” I found many interesting queries. At least one intrepid Frenchman wanted to find “kill all americans.” That’s really rude. Let’s put the report off and go for a tangent.

Before we begin—in all fairness, 3 searches for “kill americans” came from US IPs. Still, that’s not as much fun to write about and I’m in favor of that hardcore an interpretation of the 1st Amendment anyway.

You can’t kill all Americans. As we’ve gone over several times now, you can’t even kill more Americans than Americans kill with slippery bath tubs. The country is too wide, too rich, too hard to do anything but the most piddling of rock throwing toward. Even the USSR at their fighting prime only could have got a small to middling percent.

Killing all French on the other hand is entirely possible and since the USA is so rich, it’s affordable. Though morally reprehensible, you brought it up. Let’s explore for a little perspective.

As we know from the CIA World Fact Book (it’s amazing how accurate their reports are when the Executive branch isn’t interceding):

France is 220,000 square miles. This makes it approximately four-fifths the size of Texas. Population roughly 60 million. 99% literacy in ethnic French population.

Texas is only the second biggest US state—France is less than 40% the size of Alaska. There are 48 more including one you may remember, Louisiana. Enough passive digression. To it.

We’ve got about 16 Ohio class nuclear subs that could be treading water off Calais or Marseilles now for all I know. That’s 2,750 or so nuclear warheads on Tridents. Capable of hitting any given square inch of France within 20 minutes.

With 1 warhead for every 80 square miles of France we can also call it capable of hitting every square inch of France before the tea is cold. Probably enough juice left over for Quebec.

And don’t even think about throwing Vietnam out ever again. We don’t all have the memories of gnats and Frenchmen. You started Vietnam.

3 comments · Commenting is closed
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Re: Kill all Americans

You just proved once again that we must find an effective way to kill all Americans. And I hope we'll start with you and your family.

By USAupMYbutt on 18 April 2010 · 04:24

A is A

Did you do it for the lulz?

I beat everyone to everything, L.

By A is A on 18 April 2010 · 08:57


Re: Kill all Americans

Our murderous rectal friend needs to learn some self-discipline. One cannot properly conduct mass slaughter if one insists on making it personal. Many a would-be genocidaire has seen his ambitions come to ruin that way. History is very clear on the matter.

By Vagrant on 20 April 2010 · 06:44