A former fan, dissatisfied with either naked little girls or perhaps the postulation that 1/3 of the world’s future GDPs might necessarily be spent on memorials for the 1,000^th World War, writes:

That one wasn’t very funny.

I don’t have to be funny. I read and enjoyed Moby Dick without having it assigned. It was the sole pursuit of the second best vacation I’ve ever had. And that includes accounting the stomach virus that Lisa, Squishy, and I all had at the time.

This is a sort of mental spam trap. There are no nude girls here. Well, there are a couple here but none on this site. Well, if pressed, yowser!, one must admit there are pieces of a few here and here. If you don’t know how to use Google’s image search to find porn, you deserve this kind of sidetracking.

No underage nudes, only information about your general hunger for them. So if you’re here to find skin, you’ll only find your own, flapping on the fence post. Pow, whatcha gonna do now?

The graphs and data below come from searches referring visitors to Sedition·com in the past 18 months. If you’re curious to see some searches that bring people here as they happen, here is the referring searches page; enjoy the fruitless debauchery.

That’s right, you’re looking for naked girls about 13 years of age. Boy, that’s charming. I had a hunch it would bell-out there and I was right. Here are some more lies, I mean statistics. To think I got my first $15,000 raise for doing this same sort of stuff at Amazon.com where my audience was also not listening.

                   mean -->> 14.07
                 median -->> 13.00
     standard_deviation -->>  5.49

There were tiny statistical spikes at 40 and 65 but they didn’t even reach the size of age groups like 4 and 5, and they’re not revolting, so they’re left out of the graphs.

The more you know: child pornography

As a public service, I’d like to remind the viewers at home that:

1. Underage porn, even the softest-core, and they are oh, so soft at that age, will land you in the big house (not to be confused with the monkey house, aka 1600 Pennsylvania Ave).
2. Many browsers keep a history of where you go, what you search for, and even what you type. And other persons’ webservers, like mine, record the same information by your IP which is usually traceable back to you.
3. If none of the above has sunk in, I’ll spell it out. If you actually manage to find underage nude girls online, which you probably won’t, prison is just one dime-drop away for as long as the statute of limitations in your state lasts, i.e. years.

The numbers

Selected levels of national perversion in ascending magnitude of collective deviance.

As usual, America retains its clear dominance in a field that is pathetic, perverted, and sad.

Update, 21 June 2007

There is a less ironic explication of sorts here–Viewer mail: underage pornography.

EXT, MURKY DAYLIGHT, ENDLESS CONCRETE PLANE, LONG SHOT. Catapulted SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS INTO THE FUTURE our hero JASPER, white, mid 30s, clean cut, finds himself standing before a colossal, pyramid-shaped MONUMENT 150 meters high. It is the green patina of long weathered copper rich bronze.

Pavement — somehow translucent, showing motion? movement? traffic? beneath — stretches to the horizon on the three visible cardinal points. JASPER can’t see past the MONUMENT. It could the only feature of all the known world.

MEDIUM SHOT Stepping forward on the slightly springy, iridescent concrete? to put a palm on the immovable, cold metal, JASPER can see the MONUMENT’s pattern. The motif resolves itself into 1/4 scale skulls; stacked at 43° to the greening sky.

A MAN, 20ish, looks Finnish, dressed in the monochromatic clothes of a retiree, is somehow disgorged by the pavement, a few feet from JASPER. He steps forward and throws a handful of something semi-visible, glitter-like at the MONUMENT. It makes no sound as it disappears into the metal.

JASPER

Excuse me. What is this?

MAN

(Has gentle accent, vaguely Canadian and Hindu at the same time)

Grain Flats.

JASPER

What?

MAN

What?

JASPER

(Points to the MONUMENT)

MAN

Put when the bounce. Finally.

JASPER

(Shakes his head in confusion)

MAN

After the war.

JASPER

This is a war monument?

MAN

Yeah, no? You okay?

JASPER

What does it mean? The skulls?

MAN

Well, they just guessing. No one’s an idea how many really to the Z.

JASPER

What…? This is meant to be an accurate representation of how many died?

MAN

(Shrugs)

JASPER

…Which war was it?

MAN

World War M.

JASPER

An alphabetic designation. I don’t… Unbelievable.

MAN

What “alphabetic designation?”

JASPER

You know. A, B, C. To M. What does that make it? 13? My God.

MAN

Nothing about the alphabet. It’s Roman numeral.

CUT TO WHITE. WISH IT AWAY. BELIEVE IT’S EVEN POSSIBLE IT MIGHT GO.

Georgie-porgie, pudding-pie, kissed the girls and made them cry.

Every credible study has shown that sexual orientation has no affect on parenting ability. HRC Political Director Winnie Stachelberg

I’ll go one further. I strongly suspect that gay parents aren’t just as good. They’re better.

Most, especially white heterosexuals, have never had to dwell one minute in consideration of their role in society and the world. The level of introspection they are compelled to undertake is all but nill. When you have never spent much time thinking about who you are, and why, and what it all means, you just can’t be as good a parent as someone who has. It won’t take 20 years of research to back me up that gays are generally encouraged by life to undertake a higher than average degree of self-examination.

On the other hand, most people—gay, black, white, striped, or otherwise—are lousy parents anyway. If you’ve never been particularly good at anything in your life, why would you be any better at something as difficult as raising a child?

I guess I’m out of words for calling someone stupid. I am sad.

This guy on the bus this morning was lecturing another guy on the bus this morning about what a mess Arizona is and how when they started it the company wasn’t really doing any Java so of course it was a mess. The guy on the bus telling the other guy what-was-what apparently didn’t start at Amazon till after Arizona’s predecessor, Atlas, was dead and flushed.

Atlas was a monochromatic, multi-million dollar experiment in just how really awful Java can be. 18 months to 22% code complete. 80% user abandonment rate in favor of a quite difficult set of command line tools because the UI was so bad and it was so, so, so slow. Anyone who has the words Amazon and Atlas on his or her resume in the same entry should not be considered for employment anywhere but the DMV. In fact, if the statute of limitations hasn’t passed, you might even consider dropping the dime.

Then on the way home a couple things happened. I didn’t have drinks with Peter Keating. A cop was nice to me. And someone on the bus was reading a book that was about loving life and not being a thief.

Now it’s okay. You’re all safe again. I can even enjoy these phenomenally Anglo enchiladas without getting the least bit upset.

aardvark tongue length.

Ask your mom, sport. She’s a regular zoologist on the topic.

alternate spellings of Mohammed

I’m not sure how to spell it but it’s pronounced: os-wee-pay.

article of prejudice

It’s “the.” Try it yourself. I don’t have a problem with blacks. I don’t have a problem with the blacks.

Barnaby is a stupid name

Ha, ha.

BOURBON AND ANGER

I prefer a beer back but I’ll try it if you recommend it.

alternative word for crack whore

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When should you take a iq test?

Sometimes it’s unnecessary to take an IQ test to get a fair approximation of one’s IQ. For example, if one can’t even use the most basic parts of speech—like articles—correctly, one is surely in the 85-90 zone at best.

can a tiger kill a bear?

A bear, specifically the Kodiak subspecies of brown bear, aka grizzly, can be more than 1,500 pounds of ground shaking muscle.

A tiger, specifically the Siberian subspecies, can be more than 675 pounds of silent death in a fur coat.

So, at first blush you might suspect the bear has the upper hand. But size isn’t always the final arbiter of physical confrontation. Cats are natural born killers with one of the least efficient digestive systems in the animal kingdom specifically because they are so good at killing that they don’t have to worry about how long a meal lasts. Bears on the other hand are more prone to scrapping, and the surreal amount of hot lead that it can take to bring down a Kodiak is well documented.

Unless it’s a large grizzly, my money’s on the tiger. If it is a grizzly, it might go the bear’s way but that will be one sorry ass looking one-eyed gimp bear if it gets out alive.

2004 saw a little over 1.8 million page views for Sedition·com. And, all c-bombs aside, I was on the debate team, I did get a 5.2 GPA the same semester, and the ability to detect irony is most all that separates the wheat from the chaff.

V.

I have to congratulate you. This whole spreading freedom thing really is working out.

Did you know, for example, that you can now buy private property in Vietnam!? I had no idea.

Do you know why? Because they got left the fuck alone till they realized that commerce and ownership is in everyone’s interest. Blah, blah, blah. Bonk, bonk on the head!

I almost went into teaching high school. It’s such an electric time for the mind. They lie about so much then. They don’t tell you how you’re being held back. They don’t tell you that Michelangelo carved the Sistine Pietà before he was 25. That Isaac Newton developed calculus a bit younger than that. What is known so deeply at 16, that life is all but over at 25 and all but gone at 30, isn’t anything but Truth. School, except for that one, sometimes, teacher is nothing but social gelding, graduating social skills enough for Retail or Burgertown.

The emotions without a name in any dirt born language, the intensity, the clarity. I knew at 17 I was smarter than I ever would be again. Every year some sophistication, insight, and control improves, but about the rest, I was right.

School, like all bureaucracy and public works where there is neither punishment for ineptitude nor reward for excellence, gravitates toward the lowest point possible. Of course it’s a waste. Of course they can’t see it. You do. Unless you go ivy league, you’ll see the same or worse at university.

The things I wish I knew then: What’s right is what’s right because it keeps you sane and in self-respect; those are things that matter. Loneliness is always temporary and it’s not the worst thing, by far, in life. Happiness isn’t wrong and it persists past its weaker cousins. The ones who don’t get it don’t matter; you can’t get mad at them, you can’t blame them; they’re not in your way, only you are.

You’re twigging early to it. It’s not fun but it’s good. A lot, I mean most, don’t get it till they’re waist deep in a 30-year mortgage, a fictitious marriage and a stack of babies, with a cheap seat at the cube farm, hair growing in the ears.

I’m not sure why you thought to write me. I’m glad you did. Don’t toss your moment or surrender your clarity. Don’t flinch.