Jody sucks number one…

…Other real numbers report disappointment.

If we get to be #1 for underage porn, it seems only fair Jody gets a slice of the pron pi3.

MMM…

Three thousand days ago today Sedition·com first lit your eyes in a CRT wash of light. I wish the eight years would continue to lend cred but like the 17 year-old you lust after today, in ten years the age difference just won't be very exciting anymore.

The roots of this place are explored a bit in the brand spanking new about page. No point in resettling the hash.

And regardless of the unkind words you’ve heard of me in the media since my divorce from Britney Does-this-skirt-make-my-C-section-scar-look-fat Spears, I do in fact have many, many friends and the relaunch party for Sedition 2.0 was well attended.

Arctic ice field could melt by 2080: European research

An asteroid could hit the Earth by 2010, ending all human life: plain old historical fact.

By the way, for all the Biblical “scholars” out there—if every ice cube in the world tray melted, the oceans would rise about 200 feet. It would be terribly unpleasant and most of the humans in the world live at that elevation—I’m just saying the blackbird and the dove won’t have far to fly.

Iraqi panel finds US underreported violence in Iraq

World panel finds underwear underutilized in the US.

10 is the new 15 as kids grow up faster

Stupid is the new smart as Americans are pummelled into Cretinville by FOXNews and DailyKos.

When I was 8 I knew kids who were getting high. When I was 13 I knew kids who were doing coke, sleeping around, and bringing guns to school. Here’s your newsflash: this was contemporary to the last news cycle to include a US President being shot and it was in a Blue state in a small town.

Judge: Paper Money Unfair to Blind

Sedition·com: Reality Unfair to Incompetent.

I do agree in this case. Different sized bills is a good idea and it’s weird how stupid we are about this kind of thing. But seriously. Is this where we’re going? That every single one of us needs to be held down to the level of the least able, the least intelligent, the quickest to cry?

The money I agree with, it only makes sense and it’s not prohibitively expensive, it could even save money, but wheelchair access to National Parks…? That’s not a joke. It’s been, or maybe still is, in the courts. The resources spent trying to keep up the stragglers would be better left in the hands of people who are trying to solve their own problems. The government doesn’t give us vaccines or new machines to make life better. Why the fuck do we let them manage the funds. [Note the rhetorical lack of interrogative.]

US actress Gwyneth Paltrow prefers British dinner talk

“I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.”

When my heroine Camille Paglia called Ms Paltrow “an insufferable lightweight” back in 2000 I actually flinched. So harsh. Upon some reflection I can only remark, “She got off easy.” Though being married to anyone in Coldplay is karmic retribution enough.

One more thing, deary. Brits are becoming more ass-ignorant every single day in no small part due to the industry in which you’ve made your career. Don’t believe me? In 2004 11% of them thought Hitler was a fictional character. Churchill made out better, coming in with only 9% holding him in disbelief [link]. George birds-of-a-feather Bush didn’t make anyone stupid, Gwyneth, but you sure did.

Al-Qaeda controls western Iraq: US intelligence report

So, take out your home score-cards everyone. Cross check the column 2002 with Iraq and Al-Qaeda. You should find bung. None. Nil. Zero. Not a sausage.

I sure hope someday we track down those responsible for making Iraq into a haven for terrorists. A nice show trial and a round of public executions would go down well, don’t you think?

Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows 95) VoilaBot BETA 1.2 (http://www.voila.com/)

–asked for–

http://sedition.com/perl/$node.html/perl/$node.html

Wonder how many 404s their current bot’s build is racking up all over the world tonight.

Pearl Harbor day snuck, sneaked, snuck up on me. [Those sneaky Japanese!] Instead of talking about how evil the Japanese used to be before they started making transistor radios and tentacle-based romance novels let’s talk about a hypothetical attack on the US. We will always have to be vigilant. It’s self-evident.

What scares me most is a direct large-scale attack on the US. Can you imagine if terrorists burned down the White House? God, I can barely contain my anger just thinking about it. I’m sure they want to do it. What if they burned down every single government building in DC? The Library of Congress, the House and Senate, all of it.

America could collapse. Think about it. No government to save us and make sure the country runs all right on a daily basis. But if by some miracle we managed to withstand such an assault, it would be our obligation to seek justice.

We’d have to crush the perpetrators utterly. If they were sponsored by any foreign governments, we should definitely, definitely, definitely, invade and not rest until the leaders of those countries were executed and their governments replaced with democratically elected bodies.

Any real patriot realizes it wouldn’t matter how long it took. We would never be safe for a moment if we didn’t show terrorists everywhere that American justice is inexorable, guaranteed. No one attacks us and walks away from it. You don’t burn down the Capitol of the United States of America and think you’ll just turn around and be our friends a few years later. You must be brought to justice!

So I propose we do something about it. Because it’s not actually hypothetical, it happened.

British forces destroyed just about every government building in DC. It was not recently but it was well after the Revolutionary War. We can’t let the distance in time stand in the way of justice. Canada helped—and to this day could attack us at any moment along a huge unguarded border—so they need to be invaded too. Think of the great park we could turn the place into!

And Australia, we’ll be keeping an eye on you.

Politics aside, kottke.org is a near perfect blog. It's short, to the point, offers the interesting next the obscure-but-worth-hearing. It really is the textbook example of how to do it and that includes the clean layout and attention to detail and brevity.

Politics included, we start to have a problem but it’s the merest smidgen of your material, so we won’t elaborate, and it has nothing to do with why I can’t link to your site anymore. The real reason is drastically simpler and in all ways harder to excuse–

4 1/2 stars for “Mallrats”

I see Comcast’s listing browser—normally too generous, willing to give anything 2 stars—gives “Mallrats” 1 1/2. I was about to remark that it was the most generous half-star ever given to a movie but I noticed that “Wisdom” received the same mercy portion of stellar material.

Your search — “preventing underage pornography” — did not match any documents.

“We know it’s not how you spell the color in English, but it’s our way of being different.” GLAY

It’s not how you spell the sexual orientation either boys but I’ll stand up for your right to be different.

In spite of the fact that one Mr Pretty-Ok-Guy—née Taco John, née Matthew Baldwin—is quite clever, and in that way that some NYU-types use pejoratively but I consider complimentary, designed and ran the best game I ever played and had the pleasure of winning (on a team of three, the game was too big for one); he also sired the single best computing gag I’ve ever seen by writing a fake Unix shell at Amazon.com which intercepted regular commands and reported back, with misspellings and whatnot, that so-and-so tool was not found or such-and-such arguments were not allowed. If you’re not a *nix geek you don’t know just how fucking funny that was to watch. Where were we? Ah, yes.

Despite all that and other unenumerated personal charms, I removed a long standing link to Defective Yeti some many moons ago for this–

Read Moby Dick

As you can see, he totally deserved it.

[I almost wrote “totally fucking deserved it” because I feel the point should be emphatic but I'm trying to stop using the f-word in print so much (there are rumors that MySQL TEXT columns develop byte reading errors at a certain upper limit of profanity). So I didn’t write it.]

And not just for the horror of steering the curious and the intimidated into avoiding the book. Also because it’s iffy comedy. Way too much work to prop up a “____ dick liar” punchline.

I responded, entirely without humor, annotation, or any writerly adeptness, myself, here—That one wasn’t very funny.

I went back to Defective Yeti recently for the first time in, as I think I used a silly American Indian cliché to relate previously, more than a year. And I discovered two things.

First, he decided just a couple of weeks before my return, to take another stab at reading Moby Dick and journal about the experience. So, by that alone, all would be forgiven.

Second, the following; which I reprint in its entirety without even asking Matthew because it’s complementary so I expect he won't mind and even if he does mind, he knows I'm much bigger than he is and his WHOIS records don’t, as mine do, use a PO Box. [Also DMCA forms are a pain in the ass to fill out—believe me.]

Any man who can write that, deserves all the second chances Liz Taylor has to give.

It’s said that familiarity breeds contempt. Perhaps casual familiarity. Total famliarity, i.e. expertise, breeds complacency; the mother of all auto-pilot.

One of the Slashdot founders told me how he accidentally issued a drop database command against the master development database which automatically replicates to live. He realized immediately what he’d done and raced across the data center and pulled the connections on the server probably a few seconds before every piece of information inside Slashdot was sent off into the eternal bit-bucket.

Tonight I accidentally deleted about 3,000 6 megapixel photographs that took me the last 10 months or so to take. I realized immediately what I’d done and hit the cancel on the Trash but it was too late for me and my birds, and kids, and insects and… It was a combination of stress, not being able to see my screen well due to a fucked up video card (Thanks Apple, that’s three I owe you now), and complacency from shuffling hundreds of files around servers on a daily basis for 8 years.