Obituary: The American Editor

Friday, 28 October 2005

“Plame Game” found about 92,800 pages on Google this morning.

Or maybe it’s just that all creative endeavors are moving toward open source since Duchamp took the Big Piss on art.

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You could be too

Tuesday, 25 October 2005

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Disturbing nature facts: #1

Monday, 24 October 2005

Blue Whale.

I weigh exactly the same as a pair of healthy, fully-developed blue whale testicles: 190lbs.

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Sunday school supplement #3

Friday, 21 October 2005

Jesus unloads at his support group. HELLO - my name is

Jesus unloads at his support group

“My turn I guess. Well, hi. My name is Jesus and I’m an adult child of an angry, jealous, abusive father. No, Joseph isn’t my real dad. My real dad never even met my mom. Just knocked her up. End of story.

“This is really hard to talk about.

“I used to get the distinct feeling he was gonna kill me. I can’t explain it. I’m just glad I got out his house in time.

“Well, Judas… You’re up.”
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Pornography is in the eye…

Thursday, 20 October 2005

Pornography is in the eye. Ew.…of the beholder

And you most certainly won’t always know it when you see it.

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Why a single functioning brain is better than the entire American Academy of Pediatrics

Wednesday, 19 October 2005

Almost every book about pregnancy available in North America advises pregnant women to not eat sushi because of the risk of parasites.

Let this table be your guide for the wisdom in that prohibition.

United States Japan
Infant Mortality 7‰ 3‰
Average Lifespan 77 years 81 years
Average IQ1 98 105
1 Fatty fish, like those used in sushi and sashimi, help build healthy brain tissue.
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Monday Morning Music Choice®

Monday, 17 October 2005

Music Choice® is a really very excellent service carried by some cable providers. They broadcast music in about 3 dozen genres and their playlists are pretty good. Since they don’t show videos, they use the screen space to display band facts, quotes, and so on. Many of them cry out to be answered.

Music Choice — Quote: “I never had any expectations of reaching this many people.” Scott Stapp on the success of Creed.

Sedition·com — “We appreciate but don’t really understand the spike in sales between 1998 and 2002.” John Mastersen, vice president of marketing for Dramamine®.

Music Choice — Artist fact: The name Guns N’ Roses came from two members’ former band names, L.A. Guns and Hollywood Roses.

Sedition·com — I love Music Choice but you do make little mistakes like this quite often. The former band was Hollywood Rose. Not plural.

Music Choice — Discography: In 1978 all four members of KISS released solo albums on the same day.

Sedition·com — I didn’t know that. It’s cool and increased my respect for the band because it’s exactly what I wanted to do with Barn and Cort. I was not surprised to learn, though, that the four albums went in the bargain bin almost immediately with record stores trying to return their pre-ordered stock to the record company when demand disappeared almost overnight.

Music Choice — Discography: Dark New Day released “Twelve Year Silence” in 2005.

Sedition·com — That gives us till 2017 to turn on the radio without fear.

Music Choice — Influences: Dark New Day was influenced by Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Tool, Nine Inch Nails and Stevie Wonder.

Sedition·com — What do you mean you can’t hear it? They’re a perfect mix of all those bands. Jimmy Page on drums, Tony Iomi writing the songs, Trent Reznor on vocals and lead guitar, and Stevie Wonder driving the tour bus.

Music Choice — Artist fact: Staind has sold more than 8 million albums.

Sedition·com — Sarcastic fact: Milli Vanilli has sold more than 10 million albums.

Music Choice — Early years: Dallas Smith of Default was a sheet metal cutter before he joined the band.

Sedition·com — Now as singer of Default he is no longer a sheet metal cutter.

Well, you can’t always believe your ears.

Music Choice — Influences: Audioslave was influenced by Led Zeppelin and The Clash.

Sedition·com — Oh, absolutely. Everything they do is just as good as “Play to Win” by The Clash and “Hats off to Harper” by Led Zeppelin.

Music Choice — Artist fact: Bad English’s John Waite became well known for his arena-rock power ballads.

Sedition·com — And 15 years later is an unknown for self-same.

Music Choice — Quotes: “When I write, I’m pretty much ironing out my own dirty laundry,” Submersed’s Donald Carpenter.

Sedition·com — When I satirize I pretty much mix metaphors like coloreds and whites.

Music Choice — Discography: Theory of a Deadman released their self-titled album September 17, 2002.

Sedition·com — Theory of a Deadman released a loose remake of Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” under the title “No Surprise” March 29, 2005.

Music Choice — Quotes: RA vocalist Sahaj has described the band as “Metallica with the Police’s Andy Summers playing guitar and Sting singing.”

Sedition·com

  1. But fuck that Stewart Copeland, man. Fuck him.
  2. And Ringo Starr on drums.

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I like insects better than you #15

Thursday, 13 October 2005

Male callobius severus.

Even when they wave their hairy nutsacks around and their kisses cause necrosis.

Update: 14 June 2007, it’s not even remotely a hobo spider, to which it linked before. It’s a callobius severus. Identified by Rod Crawford, Burke Museum, Seattle, USA.

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QueryLog.com: 1,000 queries and responses

Tuesday, 11 October 2005

Today QueryLog.com posted the 1,000th query & response. If you haven’t been reading there—and you don’t have a medical condition which prevents you from safely enjoying filthy mother jokes—you should be.

Let’s see if I’ve got any marketing left in me.

QueryLog highlights

Before the spinoff website, there was…

I recently noticed that only volumes 3 and 4 really have 50. Volume 1 has 47 and volume 2 has 49. Witness the results of a public school math education. Fortunately there are still careers open to those with weak math skills, like Java programming.

If you can’t make it through the intros to those or are unclear on the dealio, start with About QueryLog.

Now, here is the required reading for those too lazy to find the good stuff on their onlies.

Editor’s picks

Political

Selected Christianity related

Left-overs

Anyway

If you like Sedition·com and the Devil’s Dictionary X, you’ll probably like QueryLog too and it’s updated much more often. Bookmark it, grab the RSS feed, link it, mail it to your estranged mother to really get her goat along with a note that you’re turning her in for animal cruelty and she can soon expect a subpoena to really get her goat.

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