Last year met a kid on the playground with my kids. The boy was named Nemo. I was ecstatic. I could not believe I had overlooked this possibility when naming my boy. I said, ”That's sooooo cool. I wish I was named after a homicidal, genius maniac like Captain Nemo!” Except I didn’t do that because this is a 4 year old. I said, “Wow, like Captain Nemo.”

He said, “No. Like the fish.”

Fish? Oh, yeah…

I grabbed the boy by his shirt and dragged him to his mother at the slides where I berated her for a solid sixty seconds, only stopping when she began to cry and shake, about what a foolish thing that was to hang on a kid and that she should at least allow him the dignity of pretending it was an idea taken from Verne not Pixar.

Except I didn’t do that because it would be effing crazy and besides – life is going to do it to the kid plenty by the time he ends up at the county courthouse with an undeniable petition for “Eric.”

Terrah!

• ≈ 3,000 Americans killed.
• 7–20 billion dollars in monetary damage.

Righteous hand of God, aka George W Bush et alii

• 3,728 Americans killed and counting every day.
• Minimum of 500 billion dollars in monetary damage and counting every day.
• 70,000–750,000 Iraqis, Afghanis, and allies dead depending upon how you prefer to count corpses.

So, I suppose the germane question is — If it’s really is just a choice between a new “9/11” and a new “George W Bush,” which is actually going to hurt worse?

This picture of Nathan Hale’s Raiders’ cheerleaders sucking the bong is from a couple of days ago. I was not going to post it, at least not without blurring faces and leaving the license plate off. The main reasons being, I don’t think marijuana should be illegal, and I don’t even use it, and I think kids deserve second chances.

Besides being stupid enough to do it in view of three businesses and more residences, like clockwork during the lunch hour, they’re on private property down there. They pushed it over the edge today throwing trash right in front of me and showing up too drunk to stand at the playground by their school which was full of little kids.

That creek they party on, it still has fish in it. Lots of trout but in seven years I’ve only seen salmon come up once and it doesn’t take much to kill them when they do. I see Nathan Hale students break trees, spray paint everything they can reach, piss in there, throw in empty beer cans, lunch trash, and cigarette butts and it’s over. You guys are done.

Update (30 April, 16:30)

Looks like some of the involved have discovered it. Comment did not post, again, because you have to use a real email address to do so. Had this to say–

I agree, it is a harsh thing to do. I had trouble making up my mind. It took 3 years of abusing me, my trust, and my time to make me do it. So, since I seem to have your attention. I’ll redact the pictures and plate.

I have caught Nathan Hale kids pissing on the little kids’ playground gym equipment. I have picked up more than one used condom from where 2 year-olds climb on slides. I’ve picked up bags worth of of trash. I watched two “friends” carry their buddy too drunk to stand off that same playground the day I posted this.

I have on several occasions talked to the kids, politely. Saying, “Please just don’t litter or break any plants.” I had a kid look me in the eye and tell me he had not just thrown a cigarette in my yard when I had watched him do it. That’s what I get in repayment for trust.

Now, some factual corrections to make sure you understand that in addition to pissing me off by fucking with stuff I care about you might try a polite request next time instead of a bunch of anonymous flame bait.

That property is private and not mine. There is an easement on it which is where the kids were sitting. The easement, as it goes nowhere and is clearly marked “Road End,” is not for public traffic. There is graffiti on the tree above the kids. Did they do it? I don’t know. Sure doesn’t look good though. I posted a small version of the photo. I have a big one where you can see the bong clearly. You can smoke tobacco in a bong so it proves nothing really, I just wanted to get your attention. I’m glad it worked.

An apology and written agreement to do some litter pick-up and talk with other students—if you’re really the good ones—about trash and graffiti would go a lot further than wild guesses about who I am and what you think I should be responsible for taking care of for other people in this world.

Contact and info for creek clean-up here.

Update (1 May, 23:33)

Comments are closed.

I reiterate from the comments: This post was probably a mistake and I am sorry if this caused anyone trouble who didn’t deserve it. If I wrongly singled out kids who never threw a piece of litter in the creek, &c, and there is something I can do to help make up for it, write me directly; even if you have trashed stuff but you want to make good on it.

This little lady stopped by my thumb for a lick or two while I was trying to sneak up on this one.

use Date::Calc "Delta_Days";

my $days = Delta_Days( 2001, 9, 11,    # US
                       2004, 3, 11 );  # Spain

print $days, $/;

912.

There may be some bumps along the road! You know this reminds me of one of my favorite American heroines, Harriet Tubman. For when she made it to freedom after having been a slave and she got to New York and she could have been so happy to just stay at home and just breathe a big sigh of relief but she kept going back down South to bring other freed slaves to freedom. And she used to say, “No matter what happens, keep going.” So we’re going to keep going until we take back the White House! Hillary Clinton quoted in “Hillary Loves Harriet Tubman,” Mouth of the Potomac

In addition to belittling abolitionism—or attempting an egomaniacal self-inflation—by equating a problem with her microphone to the struggles of Harriet Tubman there is a more important revelation hidden in there.

She was describing the Luby’s massacre in which her father gave his life in a beautifully brave but geriatric, unarmed, and useless attempt to rush the killer. Her mother, unwilling to leave the side of her husband of 47 years, died too.

This was the deadliest spree killing in US history until 9 days ago in Virginia. A lot of you are saying that one gun in the hands of another student or teacher wouldn’t have made a difference or would have made things worse. That the answer is to take away all the guns from the people who follow gun laws, i.e. not criminals. Presumably this would be as successful as other major anti-crime programs like getting rid of drugs.

If you had your way, a lot more people would be dead in the news. Two and a half months ago another mass killing jumped off and might have gone as high as 20 or 30—or more, he brought a backpack full of ammunition—had there not been one law abiding person there with a gun who cut it short at 4 murdered. Sulejman Talović only stopped killing in the Trolley Square Mall in Salt Lake City, Utah when a man who had his gun there started shooting back.

Ms Hupp won a Texas State Representative seat soon after the murders. She was instrumental in getting right to carry legislation in Texas, even overriding the veto of Governor Richards. Since Texans have been able to legally carry concealed guns, murder and rape rates have fallen sharply, up to 50% faster than the already falling national rates.

See also: Customers who read [blank] also enjoy [blank].

Offensive couch label traced to China

The offense in this case was the color of the couch, as shown on the label, was “nigger brown.” In defense of the poor bastard who labeled it I’d like to point out that brown in Chinese translates as “shit color.” He might very well have thought he was toning it down to be less offensive.

Robert Plant Appointed Venezuelan Defense Secretary

Some of the guys at Reason are really growing on me.

Armed Miss America 1944 stops intruder

I never seem to get around to bringing this up but this seems a good time to mention it. Guns do kill a lot of people but what I have never once in my life seen reported on television news is that they are also used for self-defense and defense of property at least 1.5 million times a year in the US—and by some estimates 5 million times—without killing anyone.

There is no other way for an 82 year-old woman to have the power to stand up to a young man. Or a 20 year-old woman for that matter when taking averages.

Human Brain Has Origin in Lowly Worm

Like I keep telling y’all, you should be getting your science news from me: “How did humans evolve from monkeys?”

Catholic Church buries limbo after centuries

The Catholic Church is like the worst science fiction novel I’ve ever read. So now even though we’re born with original sin and bound for Hell, babies might not go there. No, they don’t go to Limbo anymore and yes baptism is still an absolute necessity without which babies will go to Hell except for those who die without being baptized.

I’m considering starting a church of my own founded upon the belief that the true shape of the human soul is a pretzel.

Earth Day

a holiday celebrated by a lot of stomping about and subsequent removal of topsoil in America’s parklands.

conservative

one who wishes to conserve; a nature lover; sometimes written “conservationist.”

New Age

the religions, fallacies, snake oils, and spiritual slaveries of the old age in plastic packaging.
compare with old age.

hippy

1. anyone who names a child something not found in the Bible.

2. a dedicated Communist, minus any possible work ethic or hygienic awareness.

harmony

1. naturalist term describing a bloody, vicious struggle where the murder and birth rates manage to stay in step.

2. popular culture term describing a velvet painting of a smiling lion peacefully surrounded by lambs; a similar portrait of Native Americans.

tree hugger

the most common but least serious of the horticultural sexual deviancies, followed in order of clinical magnitude by the tree petter, knot knocker, and serial cross pollinator.