We do requests.

We now throw our considerable influence to the only candidate who has a chance of saving this country: George Washington.

Oh, just a moment… It seems the 22nd Amendment is in play. Well, all right. We’re back with Ron Paul. Please wake us if anything changes on the Amendment front. Roll ’em all back we say. Why stop with the 10th, 5th, 2nd, 1st, 6th… Say, are any still in force? Ah, it’ll all be okay as soon as we can just get another Democrat in the White House.¹

The Great Day

Hurrah for revolution and more cannon shot!
A beggar upon horseback lashes a beggar upon foot.
Hurrah for revolution and cannon come again!
The beggars have changed places, but the lash goes on.

Sedition·com resolves to remain on the cutting edge for 2008. Here are just a few of the many queries for which we are currently the #1 result on Google. We will not rest until we are #1 for all queries.

Why some people are smarter than others.

Love your country hate your government.

Nuclear weapons for dummies.

Hollywood Hell.

How much does sex cost in Bangkok?

Best writing on a blog in 2007

None. In your compulsion to post more often than bimonthly even the best of you waters down your material to a tepid mixture no one can admire; not even you yourself. Most considered tops are consummate hasbeens; more at Bloggies.

Best cartoon in 2007

None. They’re all one trick ponies. Honoring a single golden molehill would be an endorsement of the mountains of feces.

Best political post in 2007

None. You’re all pussy inversions; unable to conceive; blood thirsty; raving, 26 days a month, that your tears are righteous.

Best humor post of 2007

None. None of you is funny. Few of you are even smart enough to know that grammar to be correct. Those that do are mostly such pedantic cockwads that you are entirely—and will be while you live—unable to achieve anything creative which does not deserve the three word review: derivative, dull, uninspiring.

Best hate post of 2007

None. Especially not this one; it doesn’t name names; it’s far too short.

Best advice post of 2007

IOZ’zes FAQ.

Please everyone, get with me on this. From here on out, I beg you, only refer to “The Force” as acute midichlorian syndrome.

Dear __________,

A hydrophobic noman suggested that you shot me down over something and seemed to be certain that this should cause me to roll over and capitulate. Admit everything. I can see why this might be assumed. Everyone knows I compliment you frequently. I admire your writing, incisiveness, and clarity. That is not a stand-in for saying you are better, more correct, more valuable, more clairvoyant… You know the drill — you reinvented it nicely.

Your writing is 6 out of 10 falls stronger than mine of late. I often look to you for opinion on topics in which I haven’t had time or exposure. On a particular point, though, you could hardly be more wrong and it’s trivial enough to show that I’m a bit embarrassed to have to do it.

Firearms, through misuse, kill 10,000-15,000 Americans a year. Leaving aside for the moment that the majority of that violence is in noways random, that’s still not fun. We have the right to own guns anyway. There is some state control over this industry. In the places where there is less there is generally less homicide by gun along with it.¹

Doctors and hospitals, through malpractice, kill an estimated 100,000² Americans a year. Bad prescriptions alone kill around 80 a day; more than twice as many as guns. There is near total state control over the aspects of this industry which are not, as the hipsters say, OTC. I’m speaking as the son of a former member of a State Board of Examiners who only ever told one story about it which amounted to, Jesus Fucking Christ is it hard to take away a license from a doctor everyone knows to be irretrievably incompetent and a mortal threat to his patients.

I acknowledge this to be mele ed aranci but as the apples’ mission statement is Death and the oranges’ is Healing those are some pretty fucking suggestive fruit.

Acknowledging that government is an evil, of varying degrees, in every aspect of life except medical care and coverage is illustration B in the Universal Picture Book’s definition of “cognitive dissonance.”³ Boosterism for state controlled medical care amounts to cheerleading for manslaughter. B-E A-G-G R-E-S-S-I-V-E.

No one supports gays and lesbians more than I. No one.

Taking just a single example, not only would I support a Constitutional amendment to allow same-sex marriage, I am 100% in favor of same-sex polygamy. Let’s hear the other candidates say the same thing.

We did our own list last year which worked out pretty well after all; Sedition·com predictions for 2007.

A more important set emerged this week. I know, I know. I don’t half believe it myself. I heartily encourage you—upon pain of me knocking you down the next time I see you if you haven’t read them—to read Predictions for 2008: The un-parodiable state of civil liberties in America.

Go ahead. Read them. I’ll wait.

Now isn’t that better?

We received the social security card for our newest son in the mail two days ago.

What a rotten fucking country you’ve made this.