But it is one of my bus stops.

That’s cool. That’s cool.

You know what we like? Competent typesetting and something a little less cliché than Helvetica. Take this to fucking heart you Pantone® challenged dilettantes: 10/12.

Oh, do try to keep up.

LUKE–AS

THE FUTURE? WILL THE MOVIES BE MADE?

ASHYO

(ASHYO CLOSES HIS EYES FOR A MOMENT.)

DIFFICULT TO SEE. ALWAYS IN MOTION IS THE FUTURE.

LUKE–AS

I’VE GOT TO START FILMING THEM.

ASHYO

DECIDE YOU MUST, HOW TO SERVE THEM BEST. IF YOU START STORYBOARDING NOW, FILM THEM YOU COULD, BUT YOU WOULD DESTROY ALL FOR WHICH THEY HAVE FOUGHT, AND SUFFERED.

LUKE–AS

(TAKES OUT HIS CELL PHONE AND DIALS A CASTING DIRECTOR.)

ASHYO

LUKE-AS! YOU MUST COMPLETE THE DUES PAYMENTS.

LUKE–AS

I CAN’T KEEP THE VISION OF C-NOTES FILLING MY SWIMMING POOL OUT OF MY HEAD. THEY’RE MY CASH COWS. I’VE GOT TO MILK THEM.

ASHYO

YOU MUST NOT DIRECT!

LUKE–AS

BUT JOSS WHEDON AND ALAN MOORE WILL ECLIPSE ME IF I DON’T.

NEIL-SAN

YOU DON’T KNOW THAT, PUSSY.

LUKE-AS LOOKS TOWARD THE VOICE IN AMAZEMENT. NEIL-SAN HAS MATERIALIZED AS A REAL, SLIGHTLY SHIMMERING IMAGE NEAR ASHYO. THE POWER OF HIS KI STOPS LUKE.

NEIL-SAN

EVEN ASHYO WOULDN’T PUSS OUT ON THIS. LITTLE BACKWARD TALKING PINK BITCH HE IS.

LUKE–AS

BUT I CAN BANK THEM! I FEEL THE MERCHANDISING!

NEIL-SAN

BUT YOU GOT NO DICK CONTROL. THIS IS A DANGEROUS TIME FOR YOU, WHEN YOU WILL BE TEMPTED BY THE FRANCHISING AND THE FREEDOM TO POP-OFF EVERY INANE WHIM WITHOUT SANE OVERSIGHT TO SHUT YOUR PUNK ASS DOWN LIKE IN ’76.

ASHYO

YES, YES. TO NEIL-SAN YOU LISTEN. THE EWOKS. REMEMBER YOUR FAILURE AT THE EWOKS!

LUKE–AS

BUT I’VE LEARNED SO MUCH NOT DOING ANY FILMS IN THE TEN YEARS SINCE THEN. MASTER ASHYO, I PROMISE TO RETURN AND MAKE A VIETNAM MOVIE. YOU HAVE MY AGENT’S NUMBER.

NEIL-SAN

IT IS YOU AND YOUR PROPERTIES THE TOY AND GAME MANUFACTURES WANT. THAT IS WHY YOUR EX-WIFE TOOK YOU FOR EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST FILMS.

LUKE–AS

AND THAT IS WHY I HAVE TO START PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY.

NEIL-SAN

BITCH, I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU TO THE TRADE RAGS THE WAY I LOST COPPOLA.

LUKE–AS

YOU WON’T.

ASHYO

STOPPED THEY MUST BE; ON THIS ALL DEPENDS. ONLY A FULLY TRAINED DIRECTOR, WHO HAS MADE MORE THAN THREE MOVIES, TWO OF THEM OF MARGINAL QUALITY, AND NONE OF THEM THE BEST OF THE SERIES, WILL CONQUER THE SOPHOMORE SLUMP. IF YOU END YOUR DUES PAYMENTS NOW — IF YOU CHOOSE THE QUICK AND EASY PATH AS SPIELBERG DID — YOU WILL BECOME AN AGENT OF COMMERCIAL NONSENSE.

NEIL-SAN

SIT THE FUCK DOWN TILL YOU CAN WRITE A COHERENT TREATMENT WITHOUT ANY MICROBES OR RACIAL STEREOTYPES FOR ALIENS, SO-CAL.

LUKE–AS

AND SACRIFICE THE PREQUELS?

ASHYO

IF YOU HONOR THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY, YES!

Sometimes we fight but then you make me so happy.

Web Results 1 - 10 of about 10,300 for "how to hide a dead hooker". (0.27 seconds)

This is not ’Nam, this is cooking, there are rules.

Via » Via.

I begged you not to fuck this up for me, Andrew Stanton. And no matter how good the radium rifles and the sword play and the princess are you need to answer for this shit–

This is what Woola looks like–

The entire fucking point of the beast is that it’s completely repulsive and frightening but acts like a puppy for John Carter as he’s the only person who ever showed him kindness.

Anyone who says, earnestly, the words I’m just keeping it real is… Jesus F-wise Christ. I don’t actually know what I need to say about that. How is it that anything needs to be said?

ME

(NEARLY RUNNING INTO A GREEN BERET ABRUPTLY EXITING RALPH’S AT 6AM IN THE SNOW AND DARK OF SEATTLE.)

WHO’RE YOU, BITCH? NEW LUNCH?

GREEN BERET

WHAT WAS THAT?

ME

I’M’A RUIN YOU, CUNT. I’M’A RUIN YOU, CUNT. I’M’A RUIN YOU, CUNT.

My real hope though that his dirty look was because I had three stone and almost two hands on him and look just Russian enough, by way of Varangia, to maybe appear to be спецназ in the bad, snowy light and he was just a little scared.

Why Gay Parents May Be the Best Parents

Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me? From six years back: Your parents are gay, dude.

My entry for the logo contest for metacpan.org; this might never be seen elsewhere since I’m too dumb to read the rules and I didn’t know my submission was bad until just now and it might be too late to resubmit.

Keywords: meta comprehensive perl archive network.

A four star review? Who in the mother fucking fuck do you fucking think you fucking are, you fuck?!

Every reasonable father of a daughter has to face the issue of her growing up and dating. I’ve given it plenty of thought because I hate surprises. Let no one call me unfair or controlling. She can date whomever she pleases. But I’ll bet she loses interest in dead guys.

I have your new novel: The Daughters of Boole.

Please ensure my check arrives with an edible bouquet this time and not another sack of those ridiculous pennies!

God! Will you guys please just tap out!? Do you think I like doing this?!

Calling =()= the “flying lentil” is actually gayer than calling it the “goatse.”

I note without a hint of sarcasm that William “T-t-t-t-t-t-t-touch-me” Clinton won his first term with 23% of possible voters 1) showing up and 2) pulling a donkey ticket with less thought than they put into dressing to stand alone in a curtained box.

CASHIER

If I could just get your meat in this bag, I’d be happy.

ME

Ah, I wish I had a dollar for every time a woman has said that to me.

Ron Paul tearing it up.

302 views! Che schemo, youtube.