About Sedition·com

19 November 2006 · For eight years I’ve resisted writing a serious “About” page or anything about myself which was direct without being brutal. Near misses include the original about the “author” page from 2003 and the QueryLog version.

You wore me down. As repayment, I’m’a bore you goofy with the entire tale.

History and backstory

majenta.

Sedition·com was launched in 1998 when I worked at Amazon.com. I stayed for hours after working a 10-12 hour shift almost every day teaching myself HTML and Perl. The site was originally just a revisit of the somewhat celebrated print ’zine I published in New Mexico, majenta. I tried to buy the domain majenta.com. It was taken by some Brit monkeys. I had just finished rereading my final print essay, “Call this civilization again and I’ll clock you: Who is John Galt?” It was better than I remembered. Written in a frenzied, sleepless time I expected it to be sub-par. It contained this–

In a land where spilling coffee on yourself can make you a millionaire I am a traitor; every page of majenta is sedition. Call this civilization again and I’ll clock you

“Sedition.com” must be taken already, I thought. If misspellings such as “majenta” are occupied already, all the regular dictionary words must be long gone… No, there it was.

As a revival of majenta, the first new piece of writing appearing here was, and didn’t it have to be, a mother joke. Not just any mother joke though–

majenta’s role in the new millennium

When this magazine began in 1953 it was considered quite outrageous to print the eff-word. We printed it and took the consequences. The magazine was shut down by a court order for 39 years. By the time it was opened again in 1992 the eff-word wasn’t a big deal anymore.

What then does majenta have to offer to you, the reader, on the cusp of the new æon?

In the new millennium we must revise certain definitions and standards. What is a dirty joke in the 21st century? What is over the top? What is going too far? What do the people want?

In a world where people aren’t afraid to take a picture of Monica Lewinsky and color in jizm on her lips, and then email this image to their friends at the White House, what on Earth can we offer? These insensate sin-drunk individuals are the journalists, publishers, and editors today. How can majenta compete in this volatile and easily duplicated niche?

At majenta we strive to beat this group to the dirty punch, not by saying the President shot his wad in an intern’s mouth every Sunday afternoon at 2 o’clock sharp. This is unimportant and it’s been said. We’re here to say that he shot his wad in your mother’s mouth. Remember when the campaign came through your home town?

At majenta, that’s what we have to offer for the new millennium; exactly what it has asked for.

So, the old stuff was archived. Some small amount of new stuff was added. It sat for a little while while I answered hate mail from New Yorkers all night in the no-news-nine queue at Amazon.

One particularly cynical night my first read on a gopher via lynx back in ’94 or so popped into my head: The Devil’s Dictionary. I was excited to look it up again. The definition which always stuck with me–

Envelope
n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.

I looked it up again expecting a thousand more such gems. Found it instead, in the main, to be less clever and even less amusing than remembered. Much more dense and dated. Revival was in the air.

Devil’s Dictionary X : DD2K, the frame days.

After batting out a hundred or so definitions I pulled Barnaby, an old majenta mainstay, into the cabal. It trebled quickly and once we ditched the frames, and terrible layout in 2001, it became quite popular; being quoted in a national newspaper and linked from thousands of websites, ten or twelve of them bigger than a junior high tart’s myspace page.

The flat HTML made the dictionary too hard to work on though and I wasn’t writing otherwise; just grinding my soul into a finer and finer powder under the immense interdepartmental squabbles and dishonesty blooming at Amazon; an overnight superstar now drawing more flies than talent.

In that time a kid drew a gun on me because my Hindu lunch buddy looked mulatto, I got married to a girl I asked to go to Thailand for our first date, I had about 400 pages of manuscripts and 50,000 more words of notes mildewing in my cracked Mac 5300, and Barnaby and I were trading dozens of very amusing emails. I was a writer doing no serious writing. I was a 30 year-old working 60 hour weeks watching my life, an out of body experience.

Sedition·com

Sedition proper—what you are presumably reading right now—came 1,057 days after the launch. A bad experience at the Starbucks next to Pike’s Place Market in downtown Seattle let me get off the politics and just write. By the second post the following had returned in full force.

  • Fuck.
  • Cunt.
  • Pussy.

There is no pornography on this site; with a possible literary exception—An excerpt from my latest romance novel—and the odd JavaScript boob here and there—Breast threat level. Even so, we have recently come in #1 on Google and MSN search for young nude and underage porn. And me without my SuicideGirl’s affiliate links.

I had never heard the word blog when this started. I had never read one. I still barely read any and tolerate only a fraction of those. The intent was not to start a journal or even anything for public consumption. It was just time to return to the web—with newly developed programming skills. Sedition·com was reborn. Variously described as–

A site without a target audience, just targets. Me, The secret of my lack of success
…promiscuously vicious, and no one gets out unscathed. The Sporadic Curmudgeon
Wow. You’re an ass. Even if you’re right [sometimes]. Anonymous fan
It’s like all Meta and shit. Creek Running North
Sedition is tits. Orion Cervio I, esq
…reliably fantastic… hospitalville
…the most beautifully depressing thing I have ever read. Scruggs
Not a notable website. Some prick on Wikipedia

With another semi-absurd poke up the old skirt I was back in the game as a writer, albeit a virtual one. It was nineteen days before 11 September 2001. So much for keeping politics out of it.

Technology

Built with Catalyst The software that runs the site is custom. It has been rewritten three times. The last time, sanely for a change, with Catalyst and DBIx::Class, both of which we are wild about.

DreamHost

This site used to be hosted on DreamHost; we recommend them, conditionally. They provide a lot of value for the price but uptime is not ideal. [Clicking on either the link or image and signing up will pay us a commission; we use them for 20+ websites but not Sedition·com anymore.]

Valid XHTML 1.0 Valid CSS

Site policies

Privacy

Your privacy on this site is conditional to your behavior. This is a private website and like a private residence, we reserve the right to throw you out on your ass with reduced dentation. Doing anything illegal with this site—threats, theft, denial of service attacks, and such—invalidates your right to visit this site anonymously.

We use cookies to mark commenting visitors as validated so they do not have to revalidate on every comment. We keep email addresses entirely private and do not sell or share them, ever. We use them only to validate users and mitigate comment spam and abuse. We use IP addresses to measure traffic by location; e.g. country and city.

We make extensive, anonymous, use of referring queries. Read more about that at QueryLog.

We also use Google Analytics. Please see their privacy policies for more information.

Comments & contact

As noted on the comment preview page, comments are submitted under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

By emailing us you give permission to post your email in part or entirety.

Content

This site falls into the nearly unmarketable category of neither adult—i.e. no real pornography—nor appropriate for children—i.e. lots of coarse language and adult themes.

Updates

Errors—especially embarrassing ones—in layout, alt tags, punctuation, spelling, and grammar are silently updated. Factual corrections or major text changes are noted.

In conclusion

Sedition·com

Where were we? Oh, yes. Skipping the next 5 years to arrive at the final days of 2006.

[If I’m getting a bit bored with myself, I can only imagine how you feel. I love imagining how you feel, you know.]

353 pieces and 3,000 days after Sedition·com went live with the first new majenta content since 1996, a revamp of Sedition·com proper with loads of new features was finally put together and launched. That’s where you find yourself. Thank you for coming.

Ashley

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