The 9 Circles of Hollywood Hell

Tuesday, 15 February 2005

Presented without commercial interruption or rectilinear asides.

The 9 Circles of Hollywood Hell

The Circles

9) Actresses and Strippers Who “Dated” Billy Bob Thornton; Title Card Designers Who Eschew the Minuscule; ASCs who Recreate the Prom-Dance-Shot from Carrie.

8) Cast and Crew of Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels II; Actresses Who Lie about Their Birthdates.

7) Those Who Cheat Others out of Hosting the Tonight Show; Staff Writers of Saturday Night Live.

6) Has-Been Comics Who Believe They Can Act; Washed-up Actors Starring in Comedies.

5) Comics Who Apologize.

4) Writer-Directors.

3) Cast of Friends; Producers and “Writers” of Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels II; Program Directors at Fox.

2) Actors Who Run for Political Office, Their Wives and Ex-Wives; Anyone Connected in Any Way Whatsoever with “Reality” Television.

1) Michael Ovitz and Vince Gallo.

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