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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
Chappelle, Dave
the greatest philosopher of the last 1,000 years, masquerading as a harmless skinny black stoner so as to be able to deliver his gospel on two feet instead of two wooden beams.
capitalism
1. a financial system which supports personal choice to buy or sell what one will, allowing another is freely willing to make the exchange; the opposite of stealing.
2. a similar system which accepts a common standard of value for trade, the carrot.
3. the only fundamental difference between America and every nation leaking boat people to Her.
white man
1. the Devil.
2. an off-brand, generic human being.
compare with black person.
atrophy
the reward following upon a race well run—win, place, or show.
student
a person not yet wise to the market value of cut street drugs.
job
1. a killing performed for money; a hit.
2. a sex act of any kind (blow-job, rim-job, a lube-job, etc).
3. what one pretends to do in the hope others will work.
4. the single most distasteful implication of adulthood.
5. something so repellent to the modern American psyche that it is actively avoided at all costs.
[the single exception to definition 5 is the immigrant, who has no distaste for—or difficulty excelling at—work; ranging from scientific to janitorial.]
more on American significance at lottery.
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