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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
banker’s hours
10 a.m. to 4 p.m. with a longish lunch break, excepting major or postal holidays, feasts, and saints’ days—corresponding neatly with the French work calendar.
judge
an official entrusted with administration of the interests of the white man.
standardized
a level of excellence determined by averages which if represented on a time/percentage graph, would have to appear to be taking us back in time.
romance
an area of study which disproves the theory that “mother always knows best.”
see also mother.
technology
human development of tools; the scientific movement forward revolving around laziness, for which the body of human society is willing to step on and mangle its own reproductive organ; the future.
alien
1. an English speaking, standard model human with big ears, an extra butt or extremities; a human.
2. an artist with a job.
3. ET with a dildo.
4. anyone from a country poorer than, say, Britain.
5. a teacher that cares to teach.
6. a child without medication.
7. an actor in his own body.
8. as of the election of one 21st century American President, an American in any other country.
9. a musician at home.
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