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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
free will
1. erratic and unpredictable behavior in another.
2. proof of God.
3. proof against God.
4. a possession native to men over 65 and women under 15.
group home
1. a residential establishment which looks after kids in troubled or neglected situations, and addresses any behavioral problems with therapy programs and by batting them around.
2. a similar establishment so obsessed with following State law they never actually make contact with the children, apart from when they’re fed.
Anarchy
1. the absence of government and, consequently, corruption.
2. something cute to say while shaking the President’s hand.
3. what became of family life the minute people realized men didn’t need to hunt and women were knitting for fun.
4. chimp-rule; Rule of the Monkey; the pecking order without the filter of the justice system; your little dick in a sling when it turns out monkeys don’t get along well without the rule of law, you unwashed free-market bashing anti-intellectual windbag.
stoned
1. modern usage: to be addled by the sweet caress of hemp.
2. Biblical usage: to be addled by the sweet caress of highly compressed sediment.
Academia
1. a disease rendering its victim incapable of completing a sentence without the use of several qualifying terms and ass-kissing references.
2. an island just West of High School, due South of Meaningful.
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