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Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
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Rapture, the
the joyous rising to Heaven which the 144,000 best Christians will experience upon the onset of the world’s end; thus far 75 generations of the faithful have missed the date in favor of providing nutrition for nematodes but the living hold out hope we’ll all die together soon so they may see God’s face and the rest of us can take our rightful place in Hell serving the Devil iced tea during a 10 minute damnation break each millennium.
1. relating to a government conspiracy; a plot.
2. anything to do with an ex-lover; pointless.
traffic cop
a city-bred slug, immune to the salt in one’s protests.
Boing Boing
a famously productive gold mine scouted in 1988 and in full production by 1995, the veins were largely depleted by 2003 but the mine remains open in a heavily subsidized I-don’t-know-how-to-edit-my-blogroll, mercy-traffic program.
1. a physician’s equivalent to a mechanic checking under the hood and saying, “See, now there’s your problem,” while mentally calculating the extra charges made possible by sloppy development work in the radiology lab.
2. a technique dentists have developed to continue to make sports-car money even though more and more of their patients have perfect teeth.