 
- sip
- 1.
a technique in saving money at bars, effective only after getting reasonably tanked at home.
- 2.
the infrequently considered third alternative to spit or swallow.
- father
- 1.
the name at the bottom of an absentee picture postcard in the vote regarding how one should address life’s many staggering tribulations.
- 2.
in one’s late twenties, the source of some really excellent advice for a teenager.
- 3.
a poorly timed kick in the teeth, or ass, usually followed by an embarrassing excuse for an apology.
- consultant
-
an expert in filling an Excel sheet with random observations, bullet-pointing common sense recommendations, and putting a stamp on a bill because he’ll be in another time zone when you are ready to try anything he suggested.
- charisma
- 1.
money, in the hands of one inclined to brag and flaunt.
- 2.
cartoonish enthusiasm presented in front of any crowd familiar with one’s previous infomercials.
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Unabridged
Devil’s Dictionary
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