 
- AA
- 1.
very nearly a towing company; that which will take a broken down car eight-twelfths of the way to the nearest mechanic.
- 2.
abrv, Anti-Agnostics.
- 3.
a support group which offers the replacement of a once pleasurable addiction for an utterly displeasurable network of security.
- aardvark
-
an audacious creature chiefly remarkable for its length of tongue, fondness for ants, and precociousness in lexicons.
- able
-
sober; e.g., “I might not be able to make it to the project meeting.”
- ably
-
adv, describing the way a thing is done when it is done for money.
- absolutly
-
in a manner fueled by a liter of vodka; e.g., “She loved him absolutly.”
- Academia
- 1.
a disease rendering its victim incapable of completing a sentence without the use of several qualifying terms and ass-kissing references.
- 2.
an island just West of High School, due South of Meaningful.
- academic
- 1.
one who acts snide while lending out or selling school property.
- 2.
that which teaches others how to act snide while lending or selling school property.
- accident
- 1.
a legal opportunity.
- 2.
God showing his displeasure with your choice of friends.
- 3.
the only word in the English language which has come to be used exclusively in a facetious or ironic sense; we propose a new grammatical rule for this word—that it exclusively appear in quotes.
- accidental
- 1.
any of the few success stories which have come from bands without the considerable financial backing of parents and foolhardy girlfriends.
- 2.
government usage, on purpose.
- acid
- 1.
any substance with a pH less than 7.
- 2.
the taste of your self-respect after Viagra, feminine deodorant spray, and myriad other modern staples of modern existence.
- acrimony
-
the penultimate stage of marriage—the typical progression being ceremony, matrimony, acrimony, alimony.
- act of God
-
a legal term denoting anything outside human action which is horrific or extremely destructive.
more at natural disaster.
- actor
-
one who makes a profession of doing what comes naturally—pretend at working.
see also scale.
- adage
-
the truth dilapidated.
compare with axiom.
- admiration
-
harassment.
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