 
- asshole
- 1.
one who says, “gale force winds,” in place of, “gale.”
- 2.
one who says, “informational purposes,” in place of, “information.”
- 3.
one who says, “actual usage,” in place of the noun, “use.”
- 4.
Picasso.
- 5.
anyone who uses the word, “actual,” in any construction whatsoever.
- asshole, 2
- 1.
a physical feature of the hindquarters.
- 2.
a physical feature of the corner office.
- assignation
-
a pompous and self-important word for tryst.
- assisted suicide
-
an NPA, National Physicians’ Association, statistic—in the highly competitive arena of professional medicine, career SAs, or Suicides Assisted are second only to Successful Billings in importance for measuring one’s success.
- astonishing
-
an overused word meaning, “notable.”
- atheist
-
one with an IQ exceeding 103.
- atrophy
-
the reward following upon a race well run—win, place, or show.
- Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD
-
a signed excuse slip from one’s doctor reading, in essence, “So-and-so was a little slow in grade-school. Better take it easy if you don’t want to be treated to the water-works.”
- attorney
- 1.
a professional switch hitter.
- 2.
a spaniel in a hospital parking lot.
- 3.
a whore who bills by the minute not the act.
compare with barrister.
- 4.
the larval form of a politician.
- 5.
a well-dressed ass-rapist.
- audience
-
what awaits at life’s most humiliating corners.
- audition
-
to paint a series of concentric circles in red on one’s ass.
- Australia
-
a nation populated by the descendants of deported criminals which has half the crime of the country that deported them.
- autism
- 1.
a very early retirement plan.
- 2.
an emotional disability often laced with a special talent, such as for irritating or attacking people.
- available
-
that state of being single, compare to emotionally available, which is the state of being soft and absorbent.
- average
- 1.
embarrassing; in need of cover up; C-.
- 2.
the axiom from which we derive the corollary stereotype.
- 3.
the amount of effort required to neither sink nor swim.
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