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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
black and tan
1. the mixture of dark and less dark beer layered according to weight, solubility, and colloidal nature; advanced physics.
2. a snobby waste of time.
3. a rite of passage into one’s thirties as a hard lived yet fortunate drunk.
4. the transformation from a raunchy twenty dollar a week habit into a compelling twenty dollar a day hole in your trousers (tips added for the scientifically disinclined).
Black Community
1. the city where all African Americans live, dreaming the same dreams, sharing the same opinions, and gladly jumping to lump themselves together the moment Whitey takes a break from doing so.
2. a wonderful group of localized, family-oriented people serving terrific, spicy fried food, telling hilarious, poignant stories, and offering the worst directions on how to get out of their neighborhood your sorry white drunk ass will ever have the misfortune of trying to follow or understand.
black person
1. one born of innate depravity; an habitual criminal and thief.
2. one born of perfect peace and glory, as well as cultural richness, robbed of everything; the most superior race of human; guiltless.
3. an African (American); one who comes from Africa; e.g., Egyptians, Libyans, Moroccans, Afrikaners, etc.
4. all of the above.
compare with white man.
blackmailer
one who wagers on races between account balances and public revelation.
blame
guilt turned toward the person who earned it.
blank
1. that stare you keep getting from people whenever you’re talking about yourself.
2. what you’ve got left to shoot off at the end of a two week vacation with the Mrs.
blog
onomatopoeic v, to expectorate.
blood money
a vulgar slang expression for hematologically induced capital.
BMW
Bavarian Motor Works; a major compensation-free employer of disadvantaged Jews during WW II.
Bob
your uncle.
body builder
one born with a deficiency in testicle mass who is forced to ingest and inject a constant stream of artificial testosterone so as to pass for a man.
see also weight lifter.
Boing Boing
a famously productive gold mine scouted in 1988 and in full production by 1995, the veins were largely depleted by 2003 but the mine remains open in a heavily subsidized I-don’t-know-how-to-edit-my-blogroll, mercy-traffic program.
Bollywood
1. every American dance movie made during the 1940s and ’50s minus the charisma.
2. the most brilliantly smoldering embers of homosexuality burning through a veneer of mustachioed machismo ever to light the vapid eyes of twittering Brahmin valley girls.
bored
1. suicidal.
2. homicidal.
born
according to one major source: fallen; according to another: escaped.
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