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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
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Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
challenge
the politically correct term for an obstacle; an impediment; a co-worker.
chaos theory
a scientific idea that apparently random or complex things have simple genera—leading some to speculate that the apparent complexity a PhD in Physics rests upon is probably nothing more than a spinner seeded by an equation lookup table.
Chappaquiddick
a river in Massachusetts popular with the wealthy of New England as a destination for drive-in dates.
Chappelle, Dave
the greatest philosopher of the last 1,000 years, masquerading as a harmless skinny black stoner so as to be able to deliver his gospel on two feet instead of two wooden beams.
charisma
1. money, in the hands of one inclined to brag and flaunt.
2. cartoonish enthusiasm presented in front of any crowd familiar with one’s previous infomercials.
chaste
the opposite of pursued.
cheater
someone who prospers but employs no PR.
check-in time
1. a suggested amount of time spent at the airport, previous to one’s flight, which increases in length according to the consumer’s growing understanding of airport retail markups.
2. the moment in time when one ought to check-in to a facility for help with one’s habits or sanity, eg: “Blibbabooboo, ring ding, gaboingo.”
cherry
a type of extremely expensive berry which grows in the lowland scrub of all continents; its dearness due to the fact that it is almost always picked too early or left to rot between the branches.
child
1. a carbon copy; a wormy apple at the base of the tree; a constant reminder of how little one bothered to do and learn up till this point and now has lost any chance at again.
2. a murderer or drug dealer with a sort of diplomatic immunity from prosecution.
3. a pawn; a shield; an outlet.
children
the pupae of a specific species of anthropoid simians which fluctuate between chilling displays of cuteness and the torturing of small animals to death.
China
1. a department of the World Bureaucracy known primarily for its supreme frugality exhibited in part by the billing of the families of executed for their executions, itemized to the bullet.
2. a nation almost entirely devoid of wildlife, with amazing restaurants.
3. a nation of more than one billion sharing a single clock.
4. Marx’s largest résumé; entry; the best reason for digging him up and hanging him.
5. with the recent cessation of Arkansas’ “Blood-letting for Bad-humors” campaign, the world’s last holdout in medical quackery.
chlamydia
a perennial flower especially popular on college campuses; picked most often by freshmen and sophomores, it is a blossom one may only see and smell once yet remember an entire lifetime.
choice
a literary device in the writing of fiction used to obscure a character’s history or mislead the reader; the use of choice in fiction destroys the impact of many a great novel as it makes willing suspension of disbelief into a herculean challenge.
choke
1. no, wait, chickens, something funny about chickens—
2. to make it nearly all the way through a thing, as in the recording of the meaning of a word, only to realize at the last moment failure, as in not having written anything amusing or enlightening.
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