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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
cretin
1. one underdeveloped mentally and physically, from French and the Latin for Christian.
2. no, seriously.
criticize
to bolster the resolve of one’s opponent.
crunk
crack/chronic/crazy + drunk; origitivity for mortards.
crush
the pressure of desire compacted by the absence of experience, resulting most often in the past tense of this same word.
cum
Latin term used in stage and film directions; e.g., “Jenna cum loudly.”
cunnilingus
1. the most common method of contracting tetanus.
2. oh God, oh, baby, yes.
3. currency; a non-verbal bargain regarding household chores or babysitting.
4. a long term commitment.
5. OHH, babybaby, yes, YES!
6. a massive collective thought by men and lesbians everywhere: “For cristsakes, just come already.”
7. oh yeah, oh God, yeah, yeah-yeah.
8. a concept taken from a dated theory in abstract art—that the more strokes you apply, the more likely your chances of hitting a mark.
cunt
1. the female pudenda, considered obscene.
2. why are you so angry?
more at girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, slut, mother and so on.
3. n, describing a combination female telephonist and motorist.
4. the last remaining word in English that is difficult to say in front of strangers, thus making it an especially potent thing to say to strangers.
curriculum vitae
the French term for résumé.
cursed ship
the SS majenta.
curve, the
a grading scheme by which 98 retards, idiots, cretins and morons can share in statistically liberated As, Bs, and Cs—as a bonus, the one or two geniuses in the batch lose a little sparkle in the bargain.
custody
1. rights of separated parents to shuffle children back and forth between two halves of a home.
2. rights to the love of one’s children or some division of one’s children, most often determined by and weighted towards the pettier of the two parents.
3. the most pivotal set of details in the lives of you would-be step-parents which will ever be determined without your input.
custody, 2
the state of keeping something safe, as in custodial care of a thing; the fashion in which white America has pledged to keep eternal care of its colored citizens.
cynic
1. a pragmatist.
2. a tired or decrepit romantic.
3. an arrogant, often verbose and pedantic wash-out.
4. one not quite cynical enough to write for majenta.
cynical
1. indispensable.
2. extremely interesting.
3. original.
4. possessed of insight.
5. wearing a prescription of truth-colored glasses.
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