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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
DARE
acronym, Drugs Are Really Excellent.
data
chiefly scientific usage: that which is malleable or ductile.
DBA
a computer science acronym for “don’t bother asking.”
dead
an absolute level of well-being which is identified by a profound resistance to stress and diseases as well as a marked tolerance to pain and hunger; perfect health.
deadline
1. an editor’s shameless display of authoritarian hypocrisy involving an arbitrary date and 1-20 weeks of presumable leeway.
2. what you’ll have to listen to in response the next time you see fit to call me at home.
death
1. a mere formality separating you from intimate personal acquaintance with the great lexicographer.
2. a step which, as often as not, precedes dishonor.
debate
common name for a lost argument.
debt
the dedicated artist’s only lifelong companion, apart from hard work; the pay-off.
debtors prison
the most centralized community of writers in the United States; a year-round writers’ convention.
decaffeinated coffee
1. are you kidding?
2. a tiger without stripes, a lark without song, your mom without a “date” on Saturday night.
see also non-alcoholic beer.
3. I mean, you have got to be kidding.
4. a sucker punch that takes an hour to realize and all day to recover from.
deduce
to remove the Devil from a thing.
deep
opaque.
def
abrv, defecation; e.g., “Those are some def tunes—what’s the matter, wouldn’t they flush?”
defeatism
1. an intelligent look at one’s situation and options; clarity.
2. continuing education; the act of returning to school.
3. depression revitalized.
4. running out of blood-sugar mid-sentence and regretting the day one began learning to read and write.
defeatism, 2
1. the attitude that defeat is inevitable; realism; rationality.
2. the attitude that defeat is inevitable; pessimism; treason.
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