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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
definition
the vivisection tray upon which a word is splayed; while the gist may be clearly labeled with colored pins, resuscitation becomes problematic.
deformity
a distortion of a physical feature; e.g., “That Pamela Anderson can get work in spite of her obvious deformity is proof of the equity and charity of Hollywood.”
déjà vu
you read this already; it was funnier the first time.
deliberate
v, to return a country to self-rule.
deliverable
a business term meaning a package or packet of drugs small enough to be concealed and carried by one person.
deluded
adj, describing one who has never held a minimum wage job.
demand
a commonly prescribed remedy for the great blight of supply.
Democracy
a form of government based on the theory that four people cannot possibly be right about something if they disagree with six others.
Democrat
1. an American Communist.
2. one who practices bestiality, witchcraft, and sponsors public pornography; a drug user; alt spelling, Demoncrat.
compare with Republican.
demonic
1. describing one who engages in activities or thoughts outside or not represented in the mainstream, i.e., anything that isn’t on network television between 7 and 10 p.m. EST.
2. describing one who nails animals to doors—or eats the organ meat of one’s best friends—to summon demons.
denial
1. cowardice.
2. an inability to function in the real world; escapism; refusal to believe facts, often prompted by drugs, alcohol, cheap sex or other vices; the lowest form of dishonesty—lying to oneself.
see also lie.
3. a really, really, really nice break.
dentist
a sadist and blackmailer with a “medical” degree.
deoxyribonucleic acid, DNA
proof of adultery but not murder.
depression
1. a low pressure system; the absence of pressure; the pure center of peace and calm.
2. understanding perfected.
desperation
the state in which one is willing to accept a career in writing.
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