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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
Devil worship
a harmless pass-time enjoyed by the best-informed, most likable and attractive men and women of the day.
Devil worshiper
anyone who has spent more time today with this dictionary than with the Bible.
dick-gobbler
a Chinese pharmacologist.
differently abled
the currently accepted pronunciation of the word spelled c-r-i-p-p-l-e-d.
dignity
1. a time passer; a pass-time.
2. a possession which compels one to choose starvation over humiliation.
3. an extinct animal which once roamed the American West.
Dilbert®
1. a comic strip with legions of fans in the tech industry; empirical proof that a high IQ is completely unnecessary to obtain an advanced degree in engineering, electronics, computers, etc.
2. Garfield with an office job.
dildo
substitute; stand-in; double; replacement; trade-off; improvement.
dingleberry
the fruit of an invasive European weed, peniculus herba speciosa, now endemic to the American plains.
dinner
1. the first meal of the day during which drinking alcohol is considered socially acceptable.
2. the only meal of the day for which intelligent persons will tolerate a social environment; with the expectation that at least 3 out of 7 such meals occur before a lighted television screen and any forays into conversation are wetted with, “I’m trying to watch this.”
see also breakfast and lunch.
diplomacy
the art of remaining neutral and amicable in any given situation until such time as you have secured a clear advantage.
disaster
from the Latin dis-astro, literally, bad stars; e.g., Kevin Costner.
discipline
1. training that hardens one’s moral character.
2. training that hardens one’s member.
disdain
an emotion brought on by the act of listening to what people are saying.
disenfranchise
to deprive of a franchise; especially an assistant-managership of a McDonald’s.
disgusting
laundry day, six weeks into one’s re-established single-life.
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