 
- drug test
- 1.
a computer chip used by addicts to quickly judge the quality of a drug at the time of purchase.
- 2.
a urine-test used to retrace steps and account for relationship severances from a previous night.
- 3.
in the 1990s, before majenta’s blood-thirsty War on the War on Drugs, this provided a lot of businesses with a spurious sense of security.
- drunk
- 1.
a person of independent values or codependent worth.
- 2.
a soggy minded vagabond or poet set apart from his ilk by the marked inability to tolerate coffee.
- 3.
calm; relaxed; free from worry.
- drunk driver
- 1.
someone that doesn’t watch enough TV; an ignoramus to the scare-tactics of the media.
more at safe ride.
- 2.
anyone afraid to drink alone—who is legally permitted to drive to a bar and become so severely intoxicated one cannot even speak but is then legally bound to call a cab—a social slave.
- drunkard
-
contraction, originally written, “drunk’ard,” short for, “You’re drunk again? You bastard.”
- DUI
- 1.
acronym, Deliver Us from Iowa.
- 2.
a stamp on one’s driver’s license intended for the vague, nostalgic recollection of one funny night in particular.
- DVD
-
the most recent in a series of Beta, LaserDisc, and VCR replacements, the final being a visitation from dramatic performers to your town, supposedly to be called a “Play.”
- dysphagia
-
a tragic condition preventing many young artists and professionals from succeeding in their aspirations.
|
Own the original, The
Unabridged
Devil’s Dictionary
Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
