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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
emoticon
1. a wide range of refined emotions expressed via the click of a button; authorship; originality; what Robert Frost was referring to in his poem, “The Road Less :}.”
2. baby-talk for Systems Analysts.
3. sheer yellow faced, twisty mouthed genius; the world-language to be; a long awaited return from the consequences of the Tower of Babel; world-peace; utopia.
emotions
1. what men are criticized harshly for failing to show in a timely and accurate manner.
2. what men are crucified for, daily, for showing in any manner.
3. woman’s answer to the boxing ring.
4. what all of the seven deadly sins are derived from in some fashion.
emptiness
the hangover of particularly strong satisfaction.
enabler
one who enables another, often toward unhealthy or dangerous behavior; e.g., “Rachel’s mini-skirt made her the offensive line’s enabler after the homecoming chugfest.”
enemy
1. descriptive n, a person in comfort.
2. a co-worker.
enthusiastic
1. in the dark.
2. unaware of the consequences of an action.
EOM
the text stamp which appears in an email when the body of the message has been deemed a threat to national security and deleted by the CIA; also <EOM>.
epithet
1. formal address for fellow motorists.
2. American usage, honorific.
equality
1. time-shared exploitation rights; one’s shift usually changes a few generations following one’s death.
2. the legal right to mutter non-threatening complaints under one’s breath.
3. where “property” is defined as having a reasonable use of a thing, and “government” is as absent from our dictionaries as the word, “gullible;” go ahead, look any of them up.
erect
cocked.
erection
while once freely put up, today it requires a permit, an inspection, various fees, and several months of waiting before one can properly go up.
eschatology
1. the study of the year 2000 (Y2K) computer bug.
2. the branch of women’s studies focusing on the first woman President.
eschew
Gesundheit.
espresso
1. a word from a language which has no “x;” alt spelling, expresso.
2. the only healthy and socially approved vice left in the world.
3. a carcinogenic goo sipped exclusively by beatniks and foreigners.
estrogen
a strangely addictive chemical dispensed by kisses and, or, cruelty; inciting terms such as “sweetie,” “darling,” and “fucking whore” from the addict.
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