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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
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Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
fearful
sensible; reasonable; fully-conscious; adult.
federal income tax
1. the national nuclear bomb fund donation program.
2. a sizable funnel into the IMF money pit.
3. the only way the Pentagon can afford quality hammers.
4. the scholarship fund for the School of the Americas.
5. a curious annual parasitic habit of the US government begun in 1913, scant years before, pure coincidence, the national economy came crashing down; a habit prohibited by the Fifth Amendment and disobedience of which is punishable by removal of all property and freedom without trial or warrant.
fellate
Latin for inflate.
feminism
enlightened pursuit of equity by women.
compare with masculism.
feminist
1. one who takes sides.
2. a fish without ambition in regard to the Tour de France.
3. humorless; without joy.
Feng Shui
1. expensive Chinese fertilizer.
2. Mandarin for “Sinophilic pansy.”
fib
the act of describing one’s motives after viewing potential consequences of one’s actions.
fickle
the chief quality by which we can recognize the Muse responsible for the dispensation of choice punchlines.
fickleness
a woman’s prerogative, along with proper pronunciation apparently.
fight
1. n, a calm discussion consisting of at least forty percent utter silence.
2. v, to stand up boldly at the face of tremendous opposition; to complain.
3. archaic, a relatively fair match in hand to hand combat brought on by a drunken dispute ranging from noble to forgettable, and resulting in anything from a bloody nose to internal bleeding and plastic surgery.
final exam
the professor’s chance to express his or her opinion of your opinions—the degree to which they coincide is measured in alphabetical order.
financial aid
a government program which judges the dollar value of a student by exactly how unable he or she is to make money.
fire
the gift of Prometheus, opening the road to all human progress—as with all great gifts given without expectation of repayment the giver was rewarded in kind; by being chained down and having his liver torn out daily for eternity.
first date
1. American usage: petting.
2. Swedish usage: intercourse, golden showers, anal penetration, et cetera.
3. French usage: oral sex.
fishing
asking for it.
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