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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
fix
to solve a problem with the application of heroin.
compare to quick fix.
flag
kindling.
flamer
one who starts flame wars.
flexibility
1. for a groom, a quality which is most desirable in a bride.
2. for a corporation, a quality which is most desirable in an employee.
flirtation
1. social equivalent to a feint in boxing; a set-up punch.
2. a smokey glance from someone at the next table which seems to whisper, “You should’ve killed yourself that night.”
flour
a gynecological tool which aids in the targeting and acquisition of the prize when working with a plus-sized subject.
food
1. in youth an enjoyable necessity for energy and continuing life.
2. in old age an unpleasant necessity for stomaching one’s medication.
football
podophile sex.
Force, the
an invisible energy field which surrounds us and binds us to our mothers’ basements and our latex girlfriends.
foreign market
a place, outside the US, where other people buy things made in other places with currency minted by other governments, which has a huge impact on American economics.
forgetfulness
a recurrence which if observed in an individual over time will more often than not begin to reveal a pattern which shapes uncannily around the outskirts of the individual’s ever growing batch of nasty lies.
formal
overly dressed, overly spoken, and seldom overly liked.
fortnight
military term, the timespan required to invade and conquer France.
related term, Vichy.
Fox News
the best journalists from Soviet Russia’s newspaper, “Pravda,” put to work by the American international post-cold-war regime.
fox-hole
the church of the rather suddenly and unexpectedly repentant.
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