- ga-ga
- 1.
the first and only words out of an infantile cartoon character.
- 2.
how too many women feel about Mickey Rourke.
- gag
- 1.
to bind the mouth of another, usually with the intention of silencing him or her.
- 2.
an action or expression meant to be amusing.
- 3.
all of the above.
- game
- 1.
describing the state of mind of one willing to enter into criminal acts, e.g., “I’m game.”
- 2.
an activity or competition, mental or physical, engaged in for amusement; popular American games include Chicken, Dr. Closet, Bury the Evidence, Pacify the Spouse, Espionage!™, Bling-Bling Booya-Boo, Off-Shore, Touch the Babysitter, Texas Divorce, and Soul Auctioneers.
- gang
- 1.
a small to large sized government body whose jurisdiction covers a couple of street corners and lasts until the police come and lay everybody down or send them scattering in every direction.
- 2.
one of several to hundreds of uncooperative cliques per stagnant city; the cooperation of which any changes in such a city would decidedly depend upon.
- garnish
-
descriptive noun referring to any blond on the stage or screen.
- Gates, Bill
- 1.
an ambitious man whose lack of personality at all times counterbalances his net worth.
- 2.
a successful businessman whose creative achievements carry a lot more zeros than ones.
- 3.
a cheap pair of glasses in front of a masterful criminal mind; a hundred-fifteen pound twit smiling while he shafts you or drives drunk; a poorly endowed buggering geek or jerk-off; every computer programmer’s Daddy.
- gay
- 1.
happy; joyful; more at queer.
- 2.
Hindu cinema; see also Bollywood.
- geld
-
a crucial step in domestication as well as gentrification; also, to fix.
- generalization
-
the ultimate act of promotion; either for a military officer or an idea.
- genius
-
the state of constantly whining about oneself and one’s needs.
see also timeless.
- genocide
-
a cheese sandwich.
- German
- 1.
a breed of European famous for its love of beer.
- 2.
a breed of European famous for its patronage of soccer.
- 3.
the very romantic breed of European famous for its love of cleanliness, efficiency, Crystal Evenings, Lightning Engagements, and, of course, killing Jews.
- Germany
-
the power which has twice plunged the world into war in the last 100 years—ironically now a source of endless advice for how to prevent war; give them time, the century is yet young.
- Gibson, Mel
-
a deeply religious actor and film maker with a pronounced reading disability regarding the 2nd Commandment.
- girl
-
archaic, a brutal epithet for “woman” used to rob respect; considered offensive.
compare with boy.
- girlfriend
- 1.
one with an innate moral high-ground.
- 2.
an albatross.
- glutton
- 1.
ages 13-25, eight or more times a day.
- 2.
ages 31-45, eight or more times a week.
- 3.
oh, shut up you old crooner, you’ve had your fun.
- 4.
one insatiable for punishment, especially a graduate student of the liberal arts.
- 5.
one who reads adamantly about the exploitations of big corporations, while remaining a resident of the United States.
- gnat-fucker
- 1.
a bizarre exclamation of profanity.
- 2.
a native of the east coast; needle dicked.
- Gnu
-
a type of animal which yields such tough meat, such coarse pelts, and such a large amount of dung as to be unfit for consumption, textiles, and even husbandry; it must be conceded however that the copious droppings create a fertile soil wherever the animal is found.
- goaté
-
a style of facial hair, reminiscent of a goat, worn by Communists, self-declared poets, and other Fascists.
- god
- 1.
an expression of sexual pleasure.
- 2.
an expression of frustration.
- 3.
an expression of disgust for the majuscule version of the term.
- God
- 1.
the divine; the creator of all; the all-knowing; He.
- 2.
the subject of an extremely important three-word essay by Nietzsche.
- 3.
a paradox big enough to fit most of the heads in the world into as well as the rectums they come shrink-wrapped in.
- 4.
in the majuscule, a deity of relatively recent historical invention who cannot be bothered to intervene in human affairs unless they involve foreskin, bulimic whales, hookers, bad weather, or the actual end of the world.
- Godwin's law
-
an adage demonstrating that no one born after Jane Fonda flirted with a career as a DJ in 1972 is aware that Mao and Stalin ended 12 times more lives than Hitler.
- gold digger
-
a miner of wallets; a socialite claim-jumper; a panty-panner.
- good
-
[this space for hire]
- goofball
-
a term for barbiturate created so that addicts would be able to correctly spell their addiction on the clinic forms.
- Google
- 1.
v, to dribble goo; e.g., “When surfing for porn he began to google”; related term: googlewhack.
- 2.
the only friend this website has; Google is a trademark of Google, Inc.
- gothic
-
lifestyle of the bitch and tasteless.
- government
-
the housing for the device which regulates how much gasoline gets into the engine.
- government subsidy
-
money paid by the government to cripples on the condition that they do not seek therapy.
- Grammy
- 1.
a poorly told joke.
- 2.
an award given on the basis of a musician’s capacity to swallow.
- 3.
pet name for one’s Grandmother; as in “I got your Grammy too.”
compare with Oscar.
- Grand Canyon
-
a geographical feature of the Southwestern region of your mother’s bedroom.
- Greatest Generation, the
-
the generation which was the greatest at pumping DDT into the environment, looking the other way while the Jewish question was being answered, looting Europe, raising a generation of drug addled sex-addicts entirely unfit to be parents when their turn came, testing radioactive and toxic materials on unwitting human subjects, carving entire industries out of the pointless maiming, torture and forced cannibalism of animals, relegating ethics to historical record, and beating down minority races and women; truly they were great.
- Groening, Matt
- 1.
the single most brilliant, encompassing, and cut-throat satirist to achieve mainstream popularity since Ambrose Bierce.
- 2.
a man who would be a prime assassination target if there were a chance someone in office might understand his humor.
- 3.
way over your head; beyond you.
- group home
- 1.
a residential establishment which looks after kids in troubled or neglected situations, and addresses any behavioral problems with therapy programs and by batting them around.
- 2.
a similar establishment so obsessed with following State law they never actually make contact with the children, apart from when they’re fed.
- guillotine
-
French egalitarianism: a mass production technique for evening out the stature of one’s betters.
- gullible
-
in the year 2023, by UN vote with US support, gullible will be the first word to be removed from all English dictionaries while still in active use.
- gynecologist
-
a veterinarian.
|
Own the
original, The
Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary
Own
the original, The
Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
