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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
girlfriend
1. one with an innate moral high-ground.
2. an albatross.
glutton
1. one insatiable for punishment, especially a graduate student of the liberal arts.
2. one who reads adamantly about the exploitations of big corporations, while remaining a resident of the United States.
3. ages 13-25, eight or more times a day.
4. ages 31-45, eight or more times a week.
5. oh, shut up you old crooner, you’ve had your fun.
gnat-fucker
1. a bizarre exclamation of profanity.
2. a native of the east coast; needle dicked.
Gnu
a type of animal which yields such tough meat, such coarse pelts, and such a large amount of dung as to be unfit for consumption, textiles, and even husbandry; it must be conceded however that the copious droppings create a fertile soil wherever the animal is found.
goaté
a style of facial hair, reminiscent of a goat, worn by Communists, self-declared poets, and other Fascists.
God
1. the divine; the creator of all; the all-knowing; He.
2. in the majuscule, a deity of relatively recent historical invention who cannot be bothered to intervene in human affairs unless they involve foreskin, bulimic whales, hookers, bad weather, or the actual end of the world.
3. the subject of an extremely important three-word essay by Nietzsche.
4. a paradox big enough to fit most of the heads in the world into as well as the rectums they come shrink-wrapped in.
god
1. an expression of sexual pleasure.
2. an expression of frustration.
3. an expression of disgust for the majuscule version of the term.
Godwin’s law
an adage demonstrating that no one born after Jane Fonda flirted with a career as a DJ in 1972 is aware that Mao and Stalin ended 12 times more lives than Hitler.
gold digger
a miner of wallets; a socialite claim-jumper; a panty-panner.
good
[this space for hire]
goofball
a term for barbiturate created so that addicts would be able to correctly spell their addiction on the clinic forms.
Google
1. v, to dribble goo; e.g., “When surfing for porn he began to google;” related term: googlewhack.
2. the only friend this website has.
gothic
lifestyle of the bitch and tasteless.
government
the housing for the device which regulates how much gasoline gets into the engine.
government subsidy
money paid by the government to cripples on the condition that they do not seek therapy.
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