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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
helpful
1. unconscious.
2. easy.
3. forgetful.
hero
a word which clearly demonstrates the evolutionary action of single point mutation.
heroic
that which, through positive excellence, implicates others of positive lack; antonym, you.
heroin
a substance which if God made anything better would have to destroy you even faster.
heroin addict
a musician; also an entertainer without either a social calendar or money for good coke.
heroine
the counter stereotype of the dated male hero; a powerful woman capable of saving a vulnerable, defenseless, or otherwise pitiable male character at the crucial point of some grievous experience or circumstance, e.g., heroin.
hide
the part of one’s body which is most often pale, therefore in need of tanning.
high
1. the position of being elevated, sometimes tremendously, above a sheet of concrete.
2. the state of intoxication which effectively removes one from directly perceiving reality.
3. happy; fulfilled; joyous.
high school
1. a three to four year training camp in pandering to mob rule.
2. pre-secondary school, post-playground.
3. the never never land of teenage potheads.
hippy
1. anyone who names a child something not found in the Bible.
2. a dedicated Communist, minus any possible work ethic or hygienic awareness.
historian
one who studies the passed.
history
a literary genre characterized by its liberal usage of symmetry.
histrionics
the genre of journalism comprising opinion editorial, eulogy and obituary, and especially warblogging.
Hitler, Adolf
1. a man to be remembered historically as having had exceptional charisma, and a tragic overconfidence in German coats.
2. the secret nickname of any German with an accent or a natty, rectangular mustache.
holiday
1. British for vacation.
2. French for workday.
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