 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has
1,268
terms defined!
Own the original, The
Unabridged
Devil’s Dictionary
Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
- Jack Daniel’s
-
a popular American whiskey from the state of Tennessee named for its original proprietor who—like so many vendors of extra-legal luxury commodities today—entered his trade at 13 years of age.
see also breakfast. - Jackson, Michael
- the rather talented but unfortunate combination of Jerry Lee Lewis and Nijinsky.
- jailbait
- a type of wriggling pink creature which can make even the hook of a state penitentiary seem a fine dish.
- Japan
- land of the rising sun and the setting sense of self.
- Japanese Patent Officer
- 1. a minor devil; a demon.
- 2. a running gag.
- 3. a man who would rather take his life than pay his bill.
- jarhead
-
an epithet generally directed at those who habitually shave their heads to resemble the top of a jar; a Marine.
compare to raghead. - java
- 1. nonsense, hipster slang for coffee.
- 2.
nonsense, hipster slang for programming.
more at fad. - jazz
- 1. an African American musician’s insufficient check.
- 2. a white musician’s insufficient jizm.
- jealousy
- 1. the first step toward understanding your true and lasting place in the world.
- 2. the act of checking, by eye or subtle pen-mark, the level of one’s household tube of K-Y Jelly.
- Jesus
- 1. one third of a trinity of deities consisting of the following: Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha.
- 2. the most famous Jew in history whose followers have sworn to emulate his life; they begin by swearing off Jewry and killing or persecuting as many Jews as are readily available.
- Jesus freak
- 1. epithet used to describe a Baptist, considered offensive.
- 2.
epithet used to describe a Baptist, considered accurate.
see also Jesus phreak. - Jesus phreak
- 1. a born again hacker.
- 2.
a man or woman with a sexual complex relating to the savior; one who carries a spear instead of a torch.
see also Jesus freak. - Jew
- 1. a Semite; member of the Arabian races.
- 2. a matrilineal race characterized by habitual mutilation of the male sex organ and an overfondness for banking.
- 3. the chosen people; chosen last and for the worst in all cases to date.
- job
- 1. a killing performed for money; a hit.
- 2. a sex act of any kind (blow-job, rim-job, a lube-job, etc).
- 3. what one pretends to do in the hope others will work.
- 4. the single most distasteful implication of adulthood.
- 5.
something so repellent to the modern American psyche that it is actively avoided at all costs.
[the single exception to definition 5 is the immigrant, who has no distaste for—or difficulty excelling at—work; ranging from scientific to janitorial.]
more on American significance at lottery. - john
-
a man who is given a fish.
compare with pimp.
[1] ·
2
