- K
-
33% of the way to Georgia from California.
- kangaroo
-
see xylophone.
- Kansas
-
34th American state, its name taken from the Kiowa word for “flaming sack of buffalo shit which threatens to drag down entire tribe.”
- Kant, Emmanuel
-
a philosopher whose followers are often called after their master as a compliment for how well they emulate his suppositions, e.g., “That bloke is a right Kant.”
- karma
- 1.
the persistent accrual of universal good or ill-will toward one via one’s ability to exaggerate or conceal the same.
- 2.
every trip to the shower during a child-molestor’s stay at a maximum security incarceration facility.
- Kerry, John
-
a man who marches in protest, writes in protest, and speaks in protest against war and its ugly accidents, such as baby killing; methinks the Senator doth protest too much.
- kidney stone
-
an old, hardened kidney to be used as a projectile, especially in Medieval warfare.
- kike
-
a Jewish [Yiddish] word for another, especially poorer, Jew; an unfortunate manifestation of karma.
- killing
-
a strongly pronounced success in a venture—usually expressed, “to make a killing”—in various areas from the stock market to a relationship.
- kind
- 1.
dishonest.
- 2.
scheming.
- 3.
horny.
- King, Martin Luther, Jr
- 1.
a man of tremendous clarity, charisma, and wisdom who implored humans to judge each other based on their characters which has somehow come to be interpreted as meaning, “100 years of handouts won’t be enough.”
- 2.
in cities, the boulevard which acts as a dividing line conveniently alerting rich people where not to go.
- King, Stephen
- 1.
a prolific prate.
- 2.
a prate prolific.
- KKK
-
see Ku Klux Klan.
- knowledge
- 1.
the first taste of the first bite, everything that follows is referred to as surfeit.
- 2.
an unpleasant blockage separating Man from paradise.
- kooky
-
a zany way to write “wacky.”
- Kool-Aid®
- 1.
a sweetened chemical solvent for lysergic acid diethylamide.
- 2.
a sweetened chemical solvent for cyanide.
- 3.
the direct object in the title of an impending Kraft Foodservice lawsuit threatening to remove this website from active service.
- 4.
oh, yeah!
- Koran
-
see Quran.
- Korea, North
-
common name for the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea (KPRD, sometimes PDRK); a nation which has deftly addressed the aviary of persistent food shortages and population problems with a single stone.
see also South Korea.
- Korea, South
-
common name for the Republic of Korea (ROK); stepping stone and refueling stop for China’s attacks on Japan and Japan’s invasions of China.
see also North Korea.
- Korean
-
the Asian race in whose language “me gook” translates to “America,” literally beautiful land; this unfortunate piece of etymology brought to you by American English speakers who couldn’t be troubled to learn 10 words of the Korean language.
- Ku Klux Klan
- 1.
KKK; Congress’s chief consultants for all Constitutional questions.
- 2.
a harmless group of freaks disbanded in the 1960s which wore hoods and sheets and burned crosses on random lawns.
- 3.
revivalists, as harmless as their predecessors.
- Kwanzaa
- 1.
a holiday created in part by the FBI to undermine the credibility of black America and its supporters.
- 2.
the only conspiracy theory to come out of the late 20th century which has basis in fact.
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