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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
lamprey
1. an animal that spends its life sucking—but in a bad way.
2. a similar type of higher mammal which must suck for sustenance; this species is most often observed at casting calls and in deserted board rooms.
largesse
generosity in giving; e.g., “Jennifer Lopez’s charity work shows her largesse.”
late fee
a price one must occasionally pay to one’s bill-collectors for the privilege of having one’s payday scheduled by his employer.
latté
espresso for girls.
see also, espresso.
law
with banking and medicine one of the three crown jewels of Judaism.
law of the jungle, the
an all-purpose, appeal-proof statute which codifies everything from the proper time and place for flinging feces to the sixteen best reasons to kill; the legislation is remarkable especially because it was written using only the letters c, g, a, and t.
lawsuit
how those with something to lose settle a dispute.
leper
a musician who expects to be paid.
lesbian
1. a beautiful, gracious, sexy, intelligent woman who has made a devastatingly poor lifestyle choice.
2. an unappealing, clumsy, dim woman with hygiene issues who has made an enlightened lifestyle choice.
letter
archaic, the pre-computer-age habit of writing upon pulped wood with a hand operated stylus and ink; and the subsequent analog transmission of the data contained therein via human and mechanical agency.
Lexus
1. the sign by which the aristocracy will be recognized during the Great Guillotine Revival of the late 21st century.
2. the unpublished masterpiece by Henry Miller detailing step by step how to convince young girls to let one stick candles in their anuses.
liar
one who is basically honest but is on other occasions a useless waste of skin.
Liberia
a country in Africa founded for and by black American expatriates; a chance to demonstrate their innate superiority to the white man by denying the right to vote to their own Negroes for fully 76 years longer.
Libertarian
1. a political curiosity; a person whose political view consists of knowing what’s right and then closing one’s eyes.
compare with Democrat and Republican.
2. a Druid; a political kamikaze; a harmlessly unelectable psychopath.
lick
1. to appease a spouse.
2. to defeat an enemy.
3. to garner a promotion.
4. to heal a wound.
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