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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
Mars
Earth’s second nearest planetary sibling, fourth planet from the sun; mankind looks toward establishing a presence on Mars because it is theorized to be much more appropriate for human life than the Earth as the trees are already cut down and all species of animals are conveniently extinct.
Martin Luther King Day
a holiday popular in Arizona, by threat of national boycott, and in New Hampshire, as long as it’s not too closely associated with any black man in particular.
Marx, Karl
1. yet another Prussian who tremendously influenced recent world history; see also WW I and Adolf Hitler.
2. the most widely known but least amusing Marx brother.
masculism
a path of hatred and division; the devotion of subjugation and drinking blood of the innocent.
compare with feminism.
master
1. the pretty bauble affixed to the end of a slave’s chain.
compare to slave.
2. one who is the total authority in a given situation; e.g., “The coach sure is the master of the team.”
masturbate
1. to cause pleasure by digital genital stimulation.
2. to write poetry; especially to read one’s own poetry in a coffee house.
masturbation
something that was exciting in the distant past.
matrimony
an early misstep in the eternal quest to build a better mantrap.
MBA
business acronym, Must Be an Asshole.
mean
asking your mother for change for that $20.
memory
the shade of an experience—haunting or fading in inverse proportion to the pleasure it brings.
menopause
the period in a woman’s life marked by the absence of same.
mesothelioma
1. a rare cancer typically caused by the inhalation of asbestos particles.
2. a shameless, unamusing, utterly repugnant way to raise online ad revenue.
Methodist
a branch of Christianity which takes its name from its indoctrinated practice of the rhythm Method.
micro manager
a manager with an unusually minuscule sexual organ.
more at manager.
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