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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
obedience
a quality which delineates the finest of dogs and brides.
Objectivism
a modern theory of ethics stating that the highest moral value is to be found in the objective—best summed up by its anonymous antecedent: the ends justify the means.
see also objectivist and Ayn Rand.
objectivist
1. one who objects.
2. one who is objective to the point of becoming objectionable.
more at Objectivism.
oblige
to leave an opening or reveal a weakness; to empower another for the abuse of one’s trust.
obscure
1. majenta.
2. self-reference; as in a joke on a magazine in the magazine itself.
3. Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” published on such and such a date, later recalled by such and such Internet authors.
4. round about, unnoticed self-denigration.
5. Gwinnett.
odd
1. thinking twice about information received on mainstream television news.
2. thinking at all about the motives of one’s government.
3. asking what the price of an item is, and then choosing whether or not to buy the item according to the price.
official
1. fake; meatless; pretense of meaning or status; academic.
2. typed or printed, as opposed to handwritten.
old age
1. the nearly final stage of life, when a being is no longer capable of activity, apart from vocal criticism and unconscious manipulation.
2. the opposite of New Age, though equally vague and nonsensical.
more at New Age.
on the lam
fleeing to evade capture; not to be confused with the Scottish expression, “on the lamb.”
onanism
1. the habitual touching of one’s self.
2. the habitual reading of one’s poetry.
one-trick-pony
1. colloquial phrase used to describe anyone who is named Pauly Shore.
2. a consistently accurate label to place on those celebrities you find on the cover of “People.”
3. a consistently accurate label to place on most any celebrity.
Onion
a thing in many layers, all of which are identical in form and quality, ever diminishing in substance as you continue along.
online privacy
1. the check is in the mail.
2. I love you.
3. I won’t come in your mouth.
OPEC
a wrestling maneuver in which a barbaric misogynist can secure in hand the testicles of a larger and more sophisticated opponent.
open thread
a blogosphere burnout mainstay which generously combines the sentiments, “I’ve got nothing,” with, “You jerks go ahead and fill up another page for my Google ads in the meanwhile, okay.”
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