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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
player
one whose looks, cashflow, or vehicle overpower the potential of getting a few minor cuts and bruises or a venereal disease or two.
pluck
1. v, an action natural to guitar players.
2. n, a quality alien to guitar players.
poet
1. a middle-aged housewife who has discovered that writing a novel is more difficult than Harlequin’s back catalog might lead one to conclude; more at mother.
2. an affected and overly sensitive young man who has discovered a field in which he will never face harsh judgement as no one in the world reads poetry and will ever see his work; more at relativity, genius, and suicide.
3. a tone-deaf rapper.
compare with rapper
point-blank
a journalism term meaning in the same room as or within 50 feet of.
pointless
1. anything which makes sense.
2. self-expression.
3. virtual publication.
more at love.
police officer
formal, see cop.
policy
a law, rule, or practice constructed for the convenience of visitors, citizen, or employees; e.g., “Widespread use of policies helped to make the Nazis so successful.”
polite
1. describing the behavior of one in the presence of his or her manager.
2. responding to any question regarding the whereabouts of an object by stating that if it were up the enquirer’s ass, he’d know.
politically correct
1. diplomatic; asinine.
2. referring only to those racial and sexual groups not represented in present company as superlative; reverse elitism.
see also therapeutically correct.
politician
a termite in the scaffolding of the Constitution.
politics
the art or science of government, which is itself defined as the control of art and science, thus establishing a logic puzzle capable of causing Zeno of Elea’s head to explode.
pool boy
a term created for rounding out a particular SAT analogy: pool boy is to housewife as Mexican maid is to _____________.
poor
1. lower-middle classed.
2. in America, one with an income of less than $14,000 per year—in Southeast Asia one with an income of less than $14 per year.
3. middle classed.
pop music
a genre of music named for the sound it makes as it disappears.
popular
your mother on Saturday night.
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