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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
race guilt
1. a race that never ends.
2. an assemblage of self-reproaches of various colors brought together to see which can complete a course in the speediest time and thereby be declared the winner.
racist
one who races.
radio
1. the highly standardized Styrofoam packaging for music which has been bought into the ranks of popularity by the artists’ management.
2. a broadcast forum based upon the supremacy of good music, allowing it is exactly 3 minutes and 20 seconds long; format.
see also radio disc jockey.
radio disc jockey
1. a conservative freak; Republican politics dipped in nonsense and surrounded by hype; a walking gimmick.
2. a witless punk imitating David Letterman; an asshole.
3. traditionally, one with a strong voice who knows nothing about rock music.
raghead
1. an epithet generally directed at those who habitually wear rags on their heads.
compare to jarhead.
2. the illy-considered remark that got Jemima’s nephew Jasper thrown out of her house on his can.
Rall, Ted
1. a pen name for Noam Chomsky which is in turn a pen name for Studs Terkel which was the maiden name of Joseph Stalin.
2. a modern American renaissance man whose overwhelming contribution to fine art is equaled only by his monumentally insightful essays.
Rand, Ayn
1. a Russian Jew who is best known for being an American atheist.
2. a writer who espoused a philosophy of unabashed and absolute individualism, thus starting the most massive wave of apple-polishing the bootlickers of the world have enjoyed in decades.
more at Objectivism.
random search
1. in airports, the periodical bag and body search, with accompanying high doses of bone piercing X-rays, which happens to fall on people of ethnicity or those dressed unconventionally with an astronomical consistency which is now being used by statisticians to prove modern theories which would seem to indicate that you bureaucratic security fucks are a bunch of slithering fucking liars.
2. on the highway, a search of a man and his vehicle if he has a broken tail-light and is also unfortunate enough to be black or have longish hair.
rap
1. the first truly original form of music to become popular since a little band called The Beatles.
2. detailed blueprints to violent crimes committed and monstrously misogynistic deeds accomplished.
3. a huge vat of sterile puke slung mercilessly into the public ear by way of radio, TV commercials, insultingly mediocre cinema, and brain-washed peers.
rape
1. the Biblical term meaning marriage.
2. post King David and pre-1980: any non-consensual sex.
3. post-1980: all sex where consent forms have not been filled out and notarized.
4. the prison term meaning marriage.
rapist
one who rapes; the raped being historically referred to as rapee, though the related employee is gaining in popular usage.
rapper
1. an overproduced ghetto poet.
2. a salesman of hypnotic, inane self-absorption and rationalizations of depravity; one who believes strongly in oneself, one’s temporary clique of party-time friends, and, sometimes, God; a glamorized asshole.
Rapture, the
the joyous rising to Heaven which the 144,000 best Christians will experience upon the onset of the world’s end; thus far 75 generations of the faithful have missed the date in favor of providing nutrition for nematodes but the living hold out hope we’ll all die together soon so they may see God’s face and the rest of us can take our rightful place in Hell serving the Devil iced tea during a 10 minute damnation break each millennium.
rather
a word used in Britain for quaintness, e.g., “rather pointless,” in college papers for contrast, and by children to express which fast food chain they prefer.
rave
an open-air version of the early 1970s marketed to children.
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