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Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
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just shy of the minimum distance one is safe to vocalize truth.
one of the seven lost arts along with letter writing, conversation, good diction, responsibility, rational thought, and foreplay.
Reagan, Ronald
1. one whose fateful election to US Presidency detoured what might have been a successful and appropriate career as the recurring bad guy on The Muppet Show.
2. one whose horrible, intellectually debilitating disease turned out to be the nicest thing anyone could think to say about him.
a national economic policy wherein the rich are given incentives to make more money and to urinate on the poor, this was meant to produce the secondary effect called trickle down; syn voodoo economics.
see also Ronald Reagan.
real estate
1. a business estate; as opposed to the imaginary kinds of estates which artists hold.
2. land owned by banks and inhabited by dreamers.
3. a language of 2,000 words—chosen at random from French, Latin and Middle English—which is as absent of rules and logic as it is controlled by the few who speak it; pidgin phrases understood by laymen include “Sign here” and “Initials please.”
reality television
1. the most outright contradiction in terms to be introduced to America’s vocabulary since the government started its “War is Peace” campaign via Fox News.
2. non-actors acting out parts unwritten by non-writers; professional amateurism.
3. what can make it to the airwaves when everyone at a television network except the marketing department goes on vacation at the same time.
4. video surveillance equal in cost and entertainment value to the playback from a convenience store camera, but for a severe drawback on the television version, that being the insertion of vomitus dialog.
1. a pretender to the throne of non-conformity; one who smokes.
2. a quasi-militant activist whose apparent passion rarely to occasionally gets him laid.
3. a rock musician or junkie who is destined either for commercial failure or to becoming a Republican; an opportunistic low-life who will continue to bum cigarettes into and beyond the point of multi-billion dollar wealth; a fuckwad.
to make shiny again; to shine.
a siren’s beckoning song.
see also no.
1. a depression with half the media coverage, and only ten percent of the successful suicides as an actual depression; Depression Lite!®
2. a temporary regression, or near miss; the act of typing the name of one’s ex into a search engine, without then pressing <return>.
3. getting beaten up badly on a school playground after having already graduated from the school in question.
1. now go home and get your fucking shine box.
2. the act of reconciling; restoration of friendship often through admission of fault or willingness to compromise.
a political process wherein a candidate and his party realize that they undercheated during the initial vote.
1. the gift that keeps giving.
2. the main stock in the larder of most ants and many fewer grasshoppers.
3. the aftertaste of anticipation.
1. a penile and clitoral ring on either end of a convenience chain.
2. an osmosis of bad moods.
3. what most rap artists claim in verse to avoid at all cost, yet can rarely afford to live without financially.
the theory purporting a poet to be the most important thing in the universe.
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