 
- relic
-
the physical remains, usually petrified, of someone holy or sainted; e.g., the nipples of Mary Magdalene, the cup containing the first menses of Helen of Troy, and King Solomon’s cock.
- religion
-
a grand joke which has had 10,000 years to tell by some of history’s greatest minds and still isn’t funny; synonym, magic.
- reluctance
-
the patina on well-weathered incompetence.
- reminisce
-
to become inebriated within reach of one’s high school annual.
- renigger
-
the act of emigrating to Liberia.
- Republican
- 1.
an American Fascist.
- 2.
one who buggers; a buggerer; a cross-dresser; one who owns automatic firearms; alt spelling, Republikaner.
compare with Democrat.
- repulse
- 1.
to show interest in, attraction to, or curiosity about a woman.
- 2.
to sleep with a man.
- rescind
-
to burn again; to be burned a second time.
- resolution
-
a special kind of lie told in the privacy of one’s own company.
- responsibility
-
confession; crying out; admission of guilt with the expectation of no further consequences in exchange for coming clean.
- résumé
- 1.
a targeted collection of lies.
- 2.
an uncomfortable combing of one’s past for any events conveying: “I’m better than you deserve but have such low self-esteem that I’ll never bring it up during salary discussions.”
see also volunteer-work.
- 3.
elaborate fabrications regarding one’s qualifications for sucking it up; a virtual make-over.
- reunion
-
synonym, reconstruction; antonym, antebellum.
- revenge
- 1.
a sort of philosophical boomerang that once thrown will always return.
- 2.
American slang for karma.
- revivalist
- 1.
a dick rider; one who rides another’s dick; [for clarification, see the hip-hop edition of this book].
- 2.
a plagiarist; e.g., a rewriter of dictionaries.
- 3.
an unnecessary and vulgar modernist patting himself on the back with a dead man’s dated soft-back lithographic publication intended for bathroom chuckles.
see also co-revivalist.
- right
- 1.
that which when perfectly bisected yields two wrongs.
- 2.
a blow struck with the stronger hand.
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