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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
relic
the physical remains, usually petrified, of someone holy or sainted; e.g., the nipples of Mary Magdalene, the cup containing the first menses of Helen of Troy, and King Solomon’s cock.
religion
a grand joke which has had 10,000 years to tell by some of history’s greatest minds and still isn’t funny; synonym, magic.
reluctance
the patina on well-weathered incompetence.
reminisce
to become inebriated within reach of one’s high school annual.
renigger
the act of emigrating to Liberia.
Republican
1. an American Fascist.
2. one who buggers; a buggerer; a cross-dresser; one who owns automatic firearms; alt spelling, Republikaner.
compare with Democrat.
repulse
1. to show interest in, attraction to, or curiosity about a woman.
2. to sleep with a man.
rescind
to burn again; to be burned a second time.
resolution
a special kind of lie told in the privacy of one’s own company.
responsibility
confession; crying out; admission of guilt with the expectation of no further consequences in exchange for coming clean.
résumé
1. a targeted collection of lies.
2. an uncomfortable combing of one’s past for any events conveying: “I’m better than you deserve but have such low self-esteem that I’ll never bring it up during salary discussions.”
see also volunteer-work.
3. elaborate fabrications regarding one’s qualifications for sucking it up; a virtual make-over.
reunion
synonym, reconstruction; antonym, antebellum.
revenge
1. a sort of philosophical boomerang that once thrown will always return.
2. American slang for karma.
revivalist
1. a dick rider; one who rides another’s dick; [for clarification, see the hip-hop edition of this book].
2. a plagiarist; e.g., a rewriter of dictionaries.
3. an unnecessary and vulgar modernist patting himself on the back with a dead man’s dated soft-back lithographic publication intended for bathroom chuckles.
see also co-revivalist.
right
1. that which when perfectly bisected yields two wrongs.
2. a blow struck with the stronger hand.
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