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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
sacerdotal
1. relating to anal sex; sexy; heavily indoctrinated in anal sex.
2. relating to sex with children.
safe ride
a concept developed by members of MADD and other anger management groups; it is based on the idea that the best possible place for a drunkard that can’t afford a cab is standing on some corner looking out for a fictional one.
more at drunk driver.
sage-monkey
1. member of a Southwestern community of people who live in tents among sagebrush plants.
2. someone living on the cutting edge of liberal thought regarding personal hygiene and social responsibility.
3. one whose diet of marijuana and psilocybin renders surprisingly few consequences, apart from unbrushable hair, bad teeth, a creeped-out perimeter of observers, and frequent trips to the slammer.
salary
a poorly disguised manipulation of the word slavery.
sane
1. recently fallen out of love.
2. characterized by the ability to foresee and understand cause and effect, like jumping off a building leading to death and denying the existence of God leading to happy and restful nights.
Santa Claus
the champion of secular tyranny; the Agnostic’s answer to church-based behavioral modification techniques for children; training wheels for Jesus.
Santa Fe
a town once populated by the children of the Conquistadors and the Pueblos known for its pure air, night skies, and hostility to gringos—now populated mostly by gringos and known for its queer art and the highest incidence of bubonic plague outside of the slums of Bombay.
Santana, Carlos
1. the name behind an ongoing series of guest appearances meant to constitute an original body of work, somehow.
2. an old guy, surrounded by youth, who seems to like to make his guitar go, “weedle weedle,” at the ends of songs for some reason.
3. classic rock guitarist known for an overplayed song called “Black Magic Woman.” It isn’t bad. He didn’t write it.
Santorum, Rick
a Senator with obsessive-compulsive disorder regarding the proper placement of ejaculate; he is rightly considered an expert on the topic having brought at least seven snarling mouths into the world through liberal application of his own.
related term, fuckwad.
Sappho
1. a Greek poet of the isle of Lesbos who has had a great deal of influence on modern feminism.
2. a real pain the ass.
Satan
the antithesis to the almighty God of Abraham and Passover, whose unspeakable evils range from teasing Jesus to giving unsound dietetic advice.
satire
the clearing of one’s pipes—an intellectual replacement for a good nose blow, sneeze, orgasm, etc.
satirist
one who behaves as a Satyr.
see also satyriasis.
satisfaction
Chinese food for the soul.
satyriasis
a medical condition causing an itch in constant need of scratching; psoriasis of the libido.
more at satyriasis.
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