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Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
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a better study aid than anything the Princeton Review ever published.
to give letters in order; alt speling, spelling.
1. abrv, an Italian term used in Singapore, short for sui pregiate genitali.
2. a transnational satirical definition intelligible to exactly 0.00000000137% of the Earth’s human population and amusing to less than half of those.
1. a bigot with a speech impediment.
2. a Mexican bigot.
acronym, So-called Query Language.
a paramilitary unit originally created for the protection of the supreme leader; Secret Service.
stage name
1. a convenient way in which those Jewish, Hispanic, and Polish actors embarrassed by their heritage may achieve the success of their right named peers.
2. racial marketing.
related term, pen name.
a thing which common thought leads one to imagine an upward journey but which the second law of thermodynamics dictates otherwise.
a level of excellence determined by averages which if represented on a time/percentage graph, would have to appear to be taking us back in time.
1. the space inside those lines which definitively separates God’s great indivisible nation.
2. the minimum distance required for comfortable relations with one’s parents, siblings, exes, and in general one’s past.
3. the left hand to that paraplegic Federal government body—a stump which grows quickly into a dexterous and many fingered limb the second it finds the opportunity to rob or intrude upon its citizens.
compare to California and New York.
statutory rape
a legal term defining a criminal sexual act which occurs when an NBA player has sex with a woman less than 5 feet in height.
sharing without all the unnecessary formalities.
1. the simplicity and elegance of a fair view.
2. Marantz.
Steve, the Tao of
1. a movie written by and about a pudgy womanizer whose so-called Taoist philosophy shifts from “Act like you don’t care” to “Be the best guy you can be.”
2. a newspaper column written by the same guy, to spread this “philosophy” as sacrifice for years of good carnal fortune.
3. the rantings of a fat jerk who fails to realize he lives in Santa Fe, NM—male population: some washed up stars, 32% of the queers in the US, and himself.
4. the enlightened act of coughing to death; e.g., Steve McQueen.
adj, in a cocktail, very strong; e.g., “This is for the next couple drinks for that blond woman in the corner. No, keep the change, that’s for you. Put this tablet in the second one and make them both reeaaal stiff.”
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