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Devil’s 
Dictionary X Daily Definitions XML
Devil’s Dictionary X™
The Devil’s Dictionary X now has 1,268 terms defined!
Original Devil’s Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Newest definitions — The Devil’s Dictionary X™-----------------------
tradition
the manacles of time-travel.
traffic cop
a city-bred slug, immune to the salt in one’s protests.
traffic school
grade-school caliber finger-shaking, presented sometimes with excruciating comedy.
tragic
political term meaning inconvenient.
training
when applied with the adjective toilet, a Skinnerian exercise bent on producing Communists from age 18 months by little more than liberal application of derogatory adjectives for one’s natural inclination to take pleasure in crapping one’s pants.
transsexual
1. a shell game with underwear where one is never sure what one will find under there.
2. a person whose brain chemistry and genitals did not come in a matched set—putting to rest the notion that there is any such thing as a victimless crime against nature.
travesty
that that which is truthful or amusing garners death threats so handily.
tree
a detritus sloughing obstacle to views of the forested horizons.
tree hugger
the most common but least serious of the horticultural sexual deviancies, followed in order of clinical magnitude by the tree petter, knot knocker, and serial cross pollinator.
trickle
how moneys are dispersed to American blue collar workers.
trophy bride
1. a newly wed woman holding appeal for a wide audience through her remarkable beauty and said audience’s lack of direct acquaintance with her.
2. a type of prize that ages somewhat better than its bowling equivalent, provided proper reconstructive medical ministrations.
3. an award which 90% of American men would be tremendously happy to win and display for a timespan expiring in six months to the day.
more at beauty.
trump
1. the final factor in a given situation; the decisive play.
2. tell your mother she still owes me for Saturday—man, that bitch takes forever to come.
truth
that which is agreed upon by the majority.
see also peer pressure.
tryst
a set-up.
turn
1. in sexual relationships, one’s place in line.
2. in a woman, the repulsion phase directly following successful attraction; as in one hundred and eighty degrees.
3. in housework, one’s time to shine.
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