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OpenDevil -- The Open Devil's Dictionary
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Devil's Dictionary X daily definitions XML
Devil's Dictionary X(tm)
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Original Devil's Dictionary Own the original, The Devil’s Dictionary (thrift edition)
Words that start with W—The Devil’s Dictionary X™
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W
1. 43rd president of the United States.
2. the cube root of the nine most ill-considered space saving syllables ever to enter the vernacular.
W3C
hacker spelling for wec, a slang combination of wack and weak; as in, “Those standards recommendations are w3c, man.”
wake-n-bake
1. a pop-culture expression meaning to smoke marijuana immediately after rising in the morning.
2. a fairly good time.
war
an historical weather pattern that has kept the populations of every nation in professional and conversational fodder for 10,000 years and counting.
warblog
a blog [sic] which is written by someone who is morally opposed to killing and thus supports war to keep people safe.
see also cognitive dissonance.
Washington, DC
a gigantic monochromatic terrarium of the underclass cared for by sloppy drunks and members of the House and Executive branch as well.
water
1. hydrated fluoride.
2. bottled fruit punch with salt.
3. urine; typical usage, to make water; sometimes a second step is added, to make water to wine.
weapons of mass destruction
1. abrv WMD, a substance or apparatus, especially poisons and biological weapons, which can be used to injure or kill great numbers of people; WsMD include exotic and difficult to create weapons like aerosol anthrax and VX gas, as well as many easily made weapons like ricin, one of the deadliest poisons known, which can be made by any 6-year-old from a few seeds of the widely available and easily grown castor bean.
2. boo!
weather girl
a woman who waited till the last minute to enroll in her journalism courses and was left with Meteorology 227: Streaking and Highlighting.
see also weather man.
weather man
1. a congenital liar.
2. a grinning dip-stick in the oil pan of local news.
3. a compulsive gambler whose only hope of ever winning a wager is to visit Las Vegas in mid-August.
see also weather girl.
web developer
one who takes pornographic photographs of one’s girlfriends when they are drunk or sleeping and develops them to be posted online.
webmaster
1. what dungeon masters whose friends have outgrown the third ruleset and moved on have taken to calling themselves.
2. friendless; dateless; hopeless.
weed
an undesirable plant of no value…say, that’s odd, it’s actually quite expensive around here.
weekend
the single benefit realized through the manifold interpretations of the Bible.
weight lifter
a 98lb weakling encased in creatine, ephedra, and the stink of inadequacy.
see also body builder.
wetback
derogatory term for Mexican immigrants, referring to the midnight swim that once brought many across the Rio Grande into the US; the term is offensive and baseless however, as all are able to towel-off before they take an American’s job away.
what
once a proper interrogative, now used almost exclusively to express irritability, exasperation, or disgust.
whatever
1. the definitive word for 21st century American culture, “Generation W.”
2. an internal sigh of submission; the appropriate attitude for maintaining one’s place of employment.
3. a passive-aggressive utterance which lashes out at an opposing point of view while attempting to eliminate the possibility of further discussion.
wheel
1. that which one is discouraged from re-inventing by tenet of the popular Stone Age revivalist movement.
2. that which one is actively, abusively discouraged from re-inventing by those whose wheels might not favorably compare.
whisker biscuit
an after dinner treat and dental floss rolled into one.
see also beaver.
whiskey
1. the amniotic fluid endemic to the Irish.
2. ambrosia.
3. the most faithful of wives.
whistle blower
a Tokyo prostitute.
white
1. ashamed.
2. imitative, lacking identity, monkey-like.
3. colorless, uninteresting, dull, without flavor.
white elephant
your own magazine.
white man
1. the Devil.
2. an off-brand, generic human being.
compare with black person.
white man's burden
his brethren.
white trash
1. an Anglo-Saxon porch nigger.
2. absolutely anyone with a plastic American flag on display.
Whitey
1. the Man.
2. a scapegoat preferred by 4 out of 5 underclasses.
whoah
an expression, usually as interjection, indicating a strong desire to stop; e.g., “Whoah, majenta!”
whore
a woman who barters sexual favor for material gain, as cash, jewelry, a house, a two car garage, etc; a bride.
compare with slut.
wife
a pay-as-you-go replacement for one’s mother.
more at bride.
wife-beater
1. a tank-top shirt, usually white, referred to glibly as its stereotypical bearer.
2. an undeniable practicality in freedom of movement.
Wikipedia
a despicable online tome responsible for pushing this most excellent site’s search rank down by one for every term described herein.
wish
1. v, to suppress.
2. n, a dream.
see also pointless.
witchcraft
an early and resurging form of rural arts and crafts which concerned things like luck in love, productive crops, health and healing, and the boiling of babies to gain the power of flight.
WOB
acronym, woman owned business; adv and adj, wobly.
woman
1. research indicates it is impossible for an almost exclusively white male staff to define this word in its most commonly used form, therefore we provide nothing as the first definition.
2. it’s been, really, very clearly implied that we shan’t either provide a second or third definition for reasons a bit more difficult to explain.
3. read two more carefully.
4. a female; possessing the power to carry and bring life; the very essence of life.
5. one that inspires fascination and adoration in a man (and about 6 out of 10 women); the very essence of beauty; a focus of worship, especially in art.
6. oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
womb
Paradise lost and only too infrequently regained.
word
a compact weapon of many varieties, each comprising sharp edges and barbs, with an entirely inadequate grip.
work
a powerful allergen.
worry
the act of planning something more than once.
worsen
1. to politicize.
2. to actively attempt to fix or improve.
3. to advertise.
see also diversify.
worship
from the Middle English whoreship; to adore and support something inappropriate or immoral.
wrath
what Hell hath plenty of, thank you.
writ
n, something written; now that this beast has been slain, a question perhaps best addressed by the Bard remains: the Lawyer question.
writer
a Philistine de plume.
writing
the result when a fool describes intelligence, a fiend describes grace, or a sodomist describes romance.
wrong
1. in Western philosophy, precisely one half of right.
2. in Eastern philosophy, what all rights must be repaid with to ensure universal harmony.
WTO
1. the primary sponsor of international Anarchist rallies.
2. a manufacturer of gas masks which resorts to the most bizarre marketing campaigns imaginable to pump up sales.
WW I
1. World War I (one); the Great War.
2. The War to End All Wars: Episode I.
3. a cautionary tale titled, I Don’t Even Know What an Archduke Is –or– What Can Come of Shooting a Single Kraut.
see also WW II and war.
WW II
1. World War II; The Big One; humanity being a bit peckish yet inquired, “Perhaps some dessert is available, say, Korea, Central Africa, Indochina, Afghanistan, Eastern Europe, oh, let’s just go with the sampler.”
2. The War to End All Wars; the human race, being overly sentimental, has dragged the goodbye out a bit.
see also WW I and war.
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