Man, I have to get my hearing checked. When your mom said she "sold lays" I thought she meant potato chips.

The bitch is so stupid she thinks sex is what happens when you add 3 & 3.

She gets penicillin for Mother's Day. The only gift for the woman with everything.

Your mother is so old she still has Abraham Lincoln's pubic hair stuck in her teeth.

Your mother's so stupid she tried to trade her menstrual cycle in for a Honda.

You might not recognize your mom anymore — I shaved her back on our "date." Tell her she still owes me change for that twenty.

I hear your mom was the first to tear John Bobbit's stitches.

I'm sorry about your mom coming home wet but when Spot gets stuck a bucket of cold water is all that helps.

Don't get mad. I wasn't looking at your mom's ass. I look to the left, I see it. I look to the right, I still see it. I'm sorry man.

You mother's so fat she has to kick start her vibrator and roll her own tampons.

Usually I hate going to porno movies but it was your mom's first big film so I figured what the hell.

I told your mom I'd like to eat her pussy and she hid her cat.

Your mom fucks so hard we knocked the trailer and Camaro off their blocks.

Tell your mom to wash her feet. I'm tired of her leaving footprints all over my rear window.