When this magazine began in 1953 it was considered quite outrageous to print the eff-word. We printed it and took the consequences. The magazine was shut down by a court order for 39 years. By the time it was opened again in 1992 the eff-word wasn't a big deal anymore.
What then does majenta have to offer to you, the reader, on the cusp of the new aeon?
In the new millennium we must revise certain definitions and standards. What is a dirty joke in the 21st century? What is over the top? What is going too far? What do the people want?
In a world where people aren't afraid to take a picture of Monica Lewinsky and color in jizm on her lips, and then email this image to their friends at the Whitehouse, what on Earth can we offer? These insensate sin-drunk individuals are the journalists, publishers, and editors today. How can majenta compete in this volatile and easily duplicated niche?
At majenta we strive to beat this group to the dirty punch, not by saying the President shot his wad in an intern's mouth every Sunday afternoon at 2 o'clock sharp. This is unimportant and it's been said. We're here to say that he shot his wad in your mother's mouth. Remember when the campaign came through your home town?
At majenta, that's what we have to offer for the new millennium; exactly what it has asked for.
We regret to announce that everything published in majenta up to this point has been blatant lies.
Thank you
Realizing the increasing importance of the public opinion poll for setting national policy and the path of the free world we've arranged a poll of employees at Sedition.com. Here are the results.
Note: due to that mathematical process by which numbers are moved from a decimal figure either upward or downward to the whole number they most closely represent -- what's that called? Oh, yeah, "drinking" -- results may not add up to 100%.
- Do you think most French men have had sex with their mother?
- Yes 98%
- No 51.2%
- No 51.2%
- Are Germans genetically evil?
- Yes 90%
- No 11%
- Yes, but only Bavarians 1%
- Yes, but not Colonel Klink 0.5%
- No 11%
- Do you believe President Clinton?
- Not really 62%
- How do you mean "believe"? 21%
- Sure 19%
- How do you mean "believe"? 21%
- Is a blow-job sex?
- Hmmmm... 72%
- A blow job? Is that the same thing as sex? 4%
- Fuck you, queer 1%
- A blow job? Is that the same thing as sex? 4%
- Should the President resign?
- Why bother? Impeachment could take years 57%
- I don't know. Does Casparov look tired? 43%
- I don't know. Does Casparov look tired? 43%
- Are Americans getting smarter or dumber?
- Sure 87%
- Smarter 11%
- Smarter 11%
- Who is the best role model for young people?
- Me 25%
- Not Neil 1%
- What's a role model? 74%
- Not Neil 1%
- How do you feel about journalism today?
- It's stupid 79%
- It sucks 22%
- It's biased and overly opinionated 17%
- It constantly presents wildly inaccurate information as fact 103%
- It sucks 22%
- How many states are there in the US?
- Fifty 71%
- Counting Puerto Rico? 11%
- Counting Delaware? 10%
- Fifty-two 2%
- New Mexico, right? 1%
- Counting Puerto Rico? 11%
- What's a henweigh?
- (interviewee punched interviewer) 92%
- I don't know 8%
- I don't know 8%
- What do you look for in a woman?
- Intelligence 50%
- Independence 49%
- My car keys 1% (Note: this answer reflects only one employee's opinion)
- Nice tits 1% (Note: somehow Neil managed to get doubled polled, as it were)
- Independence 49%
- It's official, majenta now boasts the largest readership of any international magazine available exclusively in New Mexico.
- An Elektrum Press does not in any way endorse the drinking of antifreeze. Unless you've got a real taste for it.
- An Elektrum Press would like to publicly reverse our position on the wholesale slaughter of lawyers.
- Neil Hamilton, our staff advice columnist, is getting married this New Years. Don't rub your eyes and squint at the screen, it's true. We couldn't make up something that ridiculous.
the only journal generally serving the world from la citt‡ perduta
published for the glory of the writer dressed in pine
forever in memory of the the few daylight hours spent with the daughter of
the autumn one of march with her bloody lips
volume three, number one, autumn 1998 -- first edition, virtual run
AnElektrumPress is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Kashian Vainjance Co and is distributed in analog formats by Broken Raven Soup and Razor Bird Rising
Content of Better Living and Daily Living is property of Neilco Int'l Syndicates
please submit short, quality: prose, essay, travelogue, poems, dreams, fiction, artwork, et cetera to majenta at:
The current physical address is quite off limits as that the current press self-defense and alarm system consists solely of a caffeinated chihuahua and a set of beautifully cruel discount cutlery that's fully rusted from late summer rain.
Most pages have a "Next SP" and a "Previous SP." The "SP" stands for "suggested page."
If you are at work, however, and don't have the time for self-edification and deep personal enjoyment through our superb fiction, essay, and poetry then I recommend doing what most of you will learn to do anyway: skip ahead to Better Living and bookmark, bookmark, bookmark.
We regret to announce that the "Corrections" announcement which appears in majenta #8 is incorrect; fully two thirds of the lies were subtle.
Thank you