Found 165 items searching for ( since OR "so that" OR because ) AND ( food OR money OR sex ) AND ( me OR myself OR I )
  1. Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos blague
    • I remarked that basically every president since Teddy was a disappointment as I saw it and that most of them had seriously harmed the country; financially or morally or both.
    • 5 April 2004
  2. Ayn Rand’s heroines all had lots of sex
    • ¶ She said, “I’m sorry I’m giving everything to Leonard.” ¶ “It’s okay,” I said, misunderstanding, “I don’t really deserve it yet anyway.” ¶ “I know. I’m sorry because neither does he.”
    • 27 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  3. XV. Sola Tells Me Her Story
    • It is a sad fate, since I must live my life amongst them, and I often wish that I were a true green Martian woman, without love and without hope; but I have known love and so I am lost.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  4. a joke I stole and let them sue me
    • I’m not that kind of guy. I will, however, have sex with a donkey by mail. I like good mail sex that much. ¶ Anyway, the Simpsons are watching the PBS [Public Broadcasting Service] and it’s not…
    • 31 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  5. Perl and DBIx::Class saved me from Google’s parochial prissitude in 2–4 lines of code
    • Daddy needs his coffee money and Google has a business to run after all. I manually pulled the ads from a couple of pages which were obviously a problem but there are 1,300+ pages in the DDX and…
    • 28 May 2010
    • » Perl resources, modules, and sample code
  6. Careful with that I, Eugene –or– Why, let’s keep this between you and me blague
    • I will, however, have sex with a donkey by mail. I like good mail sex that much. ¶ a joke I stole and let them sue me ¶ Great cheese! I’d love to be friends with all of you that way.
    • 31 March 2010
  7. 10 things I wish someone had told me so I’m telling you blague
    • Just learn it. You will thank me someday. ¶ [love and sex] ¶ #8, Don’t be sloppy with your guns. ¶ We all have to destroy now and then in life.
    • 6 November 2004
  8. how I intend to give the Antichrist a good run for his money
    • If I had 50 billion dollars and people didn’t like me I wouldn’t try to make friends and kiss their asses and say, “Please be my friend, poor people.” I’d rub it in their damn faces.
    • 19 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  9. You and your health care v me and my monkey blague
    • Trans-fats are illegal in restaurant food in New York City and other cities are on the bandwagon. And this week, I excrement you not, New York state assemblyman Felix Ortiz put forward legislation…
    • 14 March 2010
  10. I Elude My Watch Dog
    • The food consisted of about a pound of some solid substance of the consistency of cheese and almost tasteless, while the liquid was apparently milk from some animal.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  11. hieropus sex
    • ¶ She backed off carefully with her hand on some Mace in her pocket and I had the octopuses all to myself again. I gave the night my full attention.
    • 24 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  12. QWA [Queries from the Weblog Addressed] #8: the sex counselor edition blague
    • I’ll never have the kind of family you hoped I would. I think I can explain best by telling you my ideal date. It would be someone who asked me out first.
    • 31 March 2005
  13. I don’t know blague
    • I’ll never know if I have murder in me because I always stop when the chance comes up. My last chance to be tried as a juvenile, slim though it was, lost to whatever latent love I had for what…
    • 22 May 2002
  14. I wish people would do the right thing and be nicer blague
    • I tried to stop myself so I could just let it go. Now I’m going to have to look them up and do the right thing. And this time I think it’s going to take longer than 6 minutes.
    • 13 January 2003
  15. SOME DOG ADVICE, AKA, SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. . . I JUST DID !!! blague
    • > > I AM THANKFUL FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT > MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME. > > SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
    • 19 February 2006
  16. another beautiful black woman who was talked out of loving me by Spike Lee
    • I don’t know why Farakhan is such a lousy bastard and still manages to be a hero to many. I don’t know why Jesse Helmes continues to be reelected.
    • 2 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  17. Why I can guarantee you won’t see any new pictures of Debbie Schlussel on her website anytime soon blague
    • Myself: It’s kind of humiliating but when I was a kid there was a Jewish kid who used to pick on me every fucking day. Take my lunch money. Kick my ass.
    • 4 May 2007
  18. my money is on Alan Greenspan waking from a long winter and Bill Gates avoiding lemon merengue for some time
    • I think it’s good. Many Seattlites wish Bill Gates would be punished for making money. I almost wish they get their way because if Microsoft were gone, Seattle would still be interesting but it would…
    • 11 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  19. What I said about his sister blague
    • … when it looked like I was a little too interested in his lunch money. ¶ To be fair, Luc was a perfect gentleman. Excepting when he fucked Chuck’s girlfriend who was Jeremy’s sister and also a…
    • 27 July 2002
  20. Not to dwell but since it came up blague
    • I hadn’t lost money. I hadn’t lost a job. I didn’t get beat up. ¶ If the worst night you ever spent was just puking or crying or even bleeding then you couldn’t understand.
    • 11 July 2002
  21. it was the night I sold my first screenplay
    • It was small movie that wasn’t to bring me much money but it was everything in the world to me. It had been a long time in the works. They had it for six months before they decided to buy it.
    • 9 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  22. My first drug test blague
    • ¶ You think you’re mitigating something? Protecting people with this so-called war? A doctor in Seattle recently lost his medical license because he was judged to be giving out narcotic scripts for…
    • 18 November 2008
  23. I hope a Chinese pharmaceutical steals the formula for Viagra while there are still some animals left in Asia
    • We love dogs though. She needed special food her whole life because she couldn’t digest right. It must have been thousands and thousands of dollars all together.
    • 13 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  24. 50 queries from the weblog addressed, Vol… blague
    • ¶ How to have the best possible sex with a fat person. ¶ I have no idea. I sincerely hope you find your answer though. ¶ Don’t forget that Volume 1 and Volume 2 died for your sins.
    • 27 February 2004
  25. The most superlative page in this arm of the local galactic spiral blague
    • Oh, my God. ¶ I just lost my job because I blogged about it. But I got a book deal because I’m so good at imagining things. Things like other people’s ideas but with extra boobs and blood! Bonnie…
    • 26 February 2006
  26. $20,585 blague
    • I was a W-9 contractor last year and for the first time since I was a teenager didn’t have taxes taken out of my earnings. I saved carefully and painfully to be ready for today.
    • 15 April 2009
  27. Study: US mothers deserve a Boy Scout’s assistance with their gonads blague
    • Myself: What do you want? Jody’s got a sense of humor. ¶ Me: You went after his old lady, man. ¶ Myself: Hey! I’m not the one implying the hen is past her spring. Besides.
    • 23 May 2006
  28. Your IQ [intelligence quotient] as determined by your favorite Star Wars movie blague
    • No wait! Indirect depiction of the Japanese as money grubbing, technophile, duplicitous war mongers. No, wait! Darth Vader built C3PO. No, wait! Anakin was born of immaculate conception.
    • 8 November 2010
  29. I can’t keep the symptoms and the causes straight anymore blague
    • Just about all of them because I enjoy everything except sales or Java. ¶ $25 per hour to carry a gun for a bank. $10 per hour to protect your kids.
    • 23 January 2007
  30. A comment by Charlie Davis I stole from Jonathan Schwarz… blague
    • So we get along very well on that, and since it’s such a major issue I think I will continue to work with him the best we can. And you know, take some of the liberal welfare spending that Dennis…
    • 9 November 2007
  31. Passive-Aggressive Phrase Dictionary, redacted blague
    • ¶ “You were right.”And you can expect sex to get a little scarce around here until you apologize for making me say it. ¶ [·less] ¶ “Fair enough.”Fuck you, think you’re so fucking smart.
    • 23 March 2009
  32. my famous friends
    • I really really wanted to be a writer. Now this is funny because I know writers. I know a couple of writers who have each had about 15 books published. And you know what? They’re poor.
    • 30 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  33. This week in the news #51: short form blague
    • Me: You know I don’t have that kind of money. ¶ Myself: I know you don’t have any kind of money. Besides, I have no idea why you’re enjoying these.
    • 28 August 2009
  34. 50 queries from the weblog addressed, Vol… blague
    • ¶ How to deal with the Devil to change sex. ¶ The only devil you’ll want to deal with in this case is a surgeon from the US or Scandinavia.
    • 25 February 2004
  35. Article I
    • … year, and of the third class at the expiration of the sixth year, so that one-third may be chosen every second year; and if vacancies happen by resignation, or otherwise, during the recess of the…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » APPENDIX
  36. E tu Interpol? blague
    • … soon? You know, I almost went with “two long tons of ammonium nitrate and a rental truck” but I just didn’t feel the gag had the same impact. ¶ Me: … ¶ Myself: You know… Impact. ¶ Me: I hate you.
    • 8 October 2007
  37. my editor, Miss Exie Shortbread
    • While writing my check he told me that I ought to take a writing course because I showed some promise. Well, sure I’d like to be a better writer and all, but what are you gonna do? You know.
    • 21 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  38. “You can’t say you love your country and hate your government.” blague
    • ¶ You can’t say you love pornography and hate taking the money shot. ¶ You can’t say you love swimming and hate being eaten by alligators. ¶ You can’t say you love asdf and hate qwerty.
    • 12 May 2007
  39. Mme Thierry Meyssan blague
    • I wouldn’t even be trying to make money off it. This place is called Sedition·com for a reason. ¶ Now I’m really curious — how directly can one call for another’s murder without being…
    • 2 September 2002
  40. XVI. We Plan Escape
    • “What are you saying to me?” ¶ “I am saying what I had promised myself that I would not say to you, at least until you were no longer a captive among the green men; what from your attitude toward me
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  41. Barack Obama is not a black man –or– A wack and blight issue blague
    • Myself: Halle Berry’s got a white moms too. ¶ Me: So? ¶ Myself: Ah… Come on? Have a Poke and a smile? ¶ Me: Oh, shut up. ¶ Myself: I’d like to teach the girl to sing, in screaming ecstasy.
    • 15 September 2008
  42. 아/애/야/어/에/여/예/오/우/에/아/위/와/이
    • … not acceptable; it doesn’t work ¶ 안주 snacks to go with alcohol, food to go with alcoholic drinks ¶ 앉- sits ¶ 앉으세요 please take a seat, sit down ¶ 알겠어요 I understand ¶ 알아 들- understand, catch…
    • 28 November 2007
    • » Leon Kuperman’s Korean—English Dictionary
  43. XX. In the Atmosphere Factory
    • All I ask is food and rest for myself and my calot and the proper directions for reaching my destination.” ¶ They lowered their rifles and advanced pleasantly toward me placing their right hands upon…
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  44. The 12 biggest problems with your blog blague
    • I know I’m guilty of this but it’s because I won’t lie, I’m usually right, and when I’m wrong I admit it because that’s all it takes to be right again—I am perhaps too willing to believe that…
    • 11 February 2004
  45. chlamydia is not a flower
    • ¶ My madness gave me strength. I was willing to destroy myself for salvation. I had only one desire in life: Tetris. I was willing to lose all love and loose my mortal ichor upon the dirt.
    • 29 January 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  46. II. The Escape of the Dead
    • Pausing upon the brink of the ledge I upbraided myself for what now seemed to me wholly unwarranted apprehension. I reasoned with myself that I had lain helpless for many hours within the cave, yet…
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  47. How to be supportive, lesson one blague
    • ¶ She was upset that she wasn’t doing well. ¶ I’ve been teaching since I was 15 and the first red-belt in the studio. So, I tried to help her with tips.
    • 19 July 2003
  48. Twenty-two Goblins
    • How can I touch this loathsome thing?” ¶ When he heard these words, the second brother said: “But I am even more of a connoisseur. I am a specialist in women.
    • 28 March 2009
  49. Foreword
    • I found the watchman who had discovered him, together with the local police chief and several townspeople, assembled in his little study.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  50. SAMSON AND DELILAH.
  51. coherence is quite important in lasers, as opposed to Asian history where it’s a revisionist mistake
    • Korean food is fantastic but as I elaborated, I don’t like food. I like desert and whiskey. Korean whiskey is expensive and poor. Korean desert is simply atrocious.
    • 1 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  52. prose journalism
    • I write haikus to punish myself for being a bad writer and I know how to say, “I jerked off last night because of you, you cross-eyed Japanese retard,” in Korean. I type 90 words per minute.
    • 5 February 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  53. the book of embraces, chapter Liza Jane
    • Once they had sex all day. He had never had sex all day before. It happened because he was dying then and when you are dying sex becomes imperative. Still, it was something.
    • 17 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  54. the Nobel Prize and you at Arlington
    • I called him because I didn’t want to risk receiving another letter before he might receive my reply. ¶ “Dr. White, why do you persist in your fan mail? I think I was quite explicit that I neither…
    • 25 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  55. the saga of burning my mouth on a cheese sandwich heated in the microwave
    • Perhaps I am a wall flower but I am good at sex according to my wife. I don’t know why I am telling you this, it’s probably going to embarrass me to no end but she insists that I tell you in your own…
    • 17 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  56. XIX. Battling in the Arena
    • ¶ For two days no food was brought me, but then a new messenger appeared and my incarceration went on as before, but not again did I allow my reason to be submerged by the horror of my position.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  57. Statehood is to Israel as pity fuck is to _______ blague
    • It’s, frankly, the only thing that elevates me. I don’t fly blind. I don’t “just do” shit unless I know everything that is going on behind it.
    • 5 September 2006
  58. XI. With Dejah Thoris
    • … here I cannot tell you, for I do not know; but here I am, and since my presence has permitted me to serve Dejah Thoris I am glad that I am here.” ¶ She gazed at me with troubled eyes, long and…
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  59. “ALL THY WORKS PRAISE THEE, O LORD.”
    • Moon and all stars I don for diadem ¶ To make me fair: I cast myself and them ¶ Before His feet, Who knows us gem from gem. Day. I shout before Him in my plenitude ¶ Of light and warmth, of hope and…
    • 19 May 2007
    • » Poems by Christina G. Rossetti
  60. This week in the nothing in particular blague
    • I liked being poor. Making money is a bit stressful. I don’t think I can go back to being a poor, small business, artist, musician chump though.
    • 30 September 2009
  61. The new issue of Sedition·com magazine is out! blague
    • For 5 years this was a fortnightly production. For the year since I rebuilt the software with Catalyst it’s daily or better. That’s just awful. ¶ Now the good news. I am done for awhile.
    • 15 January 2008
  62. Misplaced comments #1 blague
    • … and all comers not because they were particularly enjoying the sex but because they couldn't tell the difference between sex and love and they had shitty dads or whatever and just wanted to feel…
    • 29 March 2011
  63. no bulls appear in this
    • He asked me what I spent my money on; from my paychecks he wrote me. I told him rock and roll records. He got mad at me for it. I had to do a super job or get yelled at.
    • 1 July 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  64. This week in the news #57 blague
    • Report: Hundreds forced into labor, sex in Ohio ¶ If I may quote the greatest living American once again– ¶ “This doesn’t happen in America.
    • 10 February 2010
  65. the sweeter the revenge, the more carcinogenic
    • You talk about sex all the time so I figured you’ve probably had more sex than me. How many girls have you had sex with?” ¶ “I don’t know,” CM mused, “How about you?” ¶ “More’n’you.” ¶ Ha!
    • 8 April 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  66. A few words about Ron Paul blague
    • I did not buy any Apple. ¶ I lost pretty much all of the money. The few stocks I had that didn’t tank completely, back slid and I sold at a loss. A loss totaling about $20,000.
    • 13 November 2007
  67. The revenge of the spam filter blague
    • … ladies adult dating gay teenagers having sex Me myself and I babes magazine things like telescopes железные входные двери Баннеры в интернет mirage designs horny…
    • 8 June 2010
  68. About the Holy Bible—by Robert Green Ingersoll, 1894
    • And so I thought I would do it myself. ¶ There are many millions of people who believe the Bible to be the inspired word of God — millions who think that this book is staff and guide, counselor…
    • 1 May 2007
  69. Not OC [Original Content] but still had a hand in making it sound as it does blague
    • Well, that’s all I remember because, frankly the imagery bothers me and tends to interfere while being difficult to shake. I think I’ve gone to great lengths to explain I don’t like cock.
    • 11 October 2014
  70. 99.9% uptime guaranteed! blague
    • There has been one outage since then because I’m too stupid to rotate logfiles and filled up the partition/VPS I’ve got. ¶ It reminded me I wanted to talk about the guaranteed 99.9% uptime that is…
    • 29 January 2011
  71. This week Lately in the news #7 blague
    • … the least able, the least intelligent, the quickest to cry? ¶ The money I agree with, it only makes sense and it’s not prohibitively expensive, it could even save money, but wheelchair access to…
    • 8 December 2006
  72. This week in the news #25 blague
    • ¶ Human Papilloma Virus Linked to Throat Cancer ¶ Oral sex is probably the main way the virus is transmitted… Michael Smith, MedPage Today ¶ All I can think about now is the poor boys who are going…
    • 14 May 2007
  73. a list of good ideas that are not in my field
    • Most of the “Mexican” food in America is TexMex and New Mexican food anyway. Why do we drink Mexican alcohol with American food? Bourbon Azul™, from New Mexico, that’s what I say.
    • 2 July 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  74. XII. A Prisoner with Power
    • “It seemed best that I quartered either by myself or among the other warriors, and I was awaiting an opportunity to ask your advice. As you know,” and I smiled, “I am not yet familiar with all the…
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  75. VII. Child-raising on Mars
    • Likewise, under Sola’s tutelage, I developed my telepathic powers so that I shortly could sense practically everything that went on around me.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  76. XVII. A Costly Recapture
    • ¶ Fortunately the room I had selected was untenanted, and creeping noiselessly to the corridor beyond I discovered a light in the apartments ahead of me.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  77. 10 steps to solve the problems with America blague
    • ¶ Hope for the persistence of America ¶ I hope. I hope you didn’t. I hope you’re not that stupid. I hope their rhetoric is as transparent to you.
    • 27 March 2004
  78. my friend Orión Cervio
    • I hope like hell I can live up to that. Then he went and told me I was brave. I never knew it so I hadn’t been. Once I knew it I had to start doing it.
    • 12 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  79. why my friend CM has a pen name too
    • because i would rather be unemployed and writing 17 billion words a night or whatever you're up to now in a way, even though i hate being unemployed.
    • 4 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  80. Un-quotable blague
    • … said it wasn’t because I had irritated many millionaires making money by rolling ducking in trash and colored glue but because I write in incomplete sentences. Like Steinbeck.
    • 16 January 2005
  81. my friend Pat
    • Girls seem to like cocaine and sex. I’ve noticed that. He had sex with a girl from Austin while I was dating her. But I didn’t, so I don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. I did then.
    • 23 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  82. Neil
    • But he didn’t hit me. He’s saving it up. Maybe now he’ll hit me because I told you he stole my spoon, but goddamnit, it was mine and I can prove it with that picture.
    • 22 April 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  83. This week in the news #20 blague
    • … gun ban in the district crime will go down—just like it did ever since the first time—because it’s guns that cause DC’s high crime. Yep, just the guns.
    • 23 March 2007
  84. Al Gore, 9th carbon neutral wonder of the world blague
    • I don’t think you have enough money to buy an offset for that and their kids and so on and so forth. You wanna get right with the Goddess, you’re gonna have to give up two of those things.
    • 5 February 2007
  85. This panic in the news: “Scrambled jets cause sonic booms in Puget Sound-area” blague
    • Since I wasn’t the only one who thought exactly the same thing, this led to– ¶ 911 call centers overloaded ¶ Emergency agencies across Western Washington were flooded with calls from people who heard…
    • 17 August 2010
  86. This week in the news #66, shortbus blague
    • I’m sure that’ll be easy since higher taxes is such a good fucking idea. I mean, how else are we gonna bail out the next round of government sponsored business failures, and pay for health care for…
    • 20 November 2010
  87. VIII. A Fair Captive from the Sky
    • I could not fathom the seeming hallucination, nor could I free myself from it; but somewhere in the innermost recesses of my soul I felt a strange yearning toward these unknown foemen, and a mighty…
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  88. 50 queries from the weblog addressed, Vol… blague
    • And primarily, perhaps, because I refuse to take it away from anyone else. ¶ Why do you think kids talk in classes? ¶ Because you’re a bad teacher.
    • 26 February 2004
  89. In the news this week: WorldNetDaily edition blague
    • ¶ “Naughty hottie” has sex with “God” on TV ¶ I caught this episode of The Sarah Silverman Program. Just another reason to hate the black man who is also God, I suppose.
    • 9 March 2007
  90. If you only had one programming language to choose –or– Let the FUD [fear, uncertainty, doubt] be with you
    • Depending on your roll- 1-50 --> I keep your money 51-65 --> You get your money back 66-75 --> You get 1.5 times your money 76-99 --> You get 2 times your money 100…
    • 5 July 2009
    • » Perl resources, modules, and sample code
  91. Recapitulation blague
    • I also had a sword. She had cast it trying to kill me. ¶ I did not kill the children. And though their swordplay was better than mine, I did not die.
    • 16 January 2002
  92. 40th anniversary of plenty blague
    • Guess we’ve been out of good reasons to waste money and honest loans officers for pretty much exactly 40 years. Happy anniversary, America.
    • 20 July 2009
  93. XVIII. Chained in Warhoon
    • ¶ Finally all the hatred and maniacal loathing for these awful creatures who had placed me in this horrible place was centered by my tottering reason upon this single emissary who represented to me
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  94. This week in the news #6 blague
    • People do not starve to death because there is no food. People starve to death because there are guns between them and the production of food. Politics cause famine, not lack of food.
    • 9 November 2006
  95. THE CEDARS DESTINED FOR THE TEMPLE.
  96. Fuck the troops blague
    • It’s also a minimum because many murders go unreported and unrecognized. This is a single city in Iraq where 20,000 civilians will be murdered this year.
    • 12 June 2006
  97. the last time we crossed swords was at an iron monument to Stonewall Jackson
    • Not once did I get in there. I wasn’t up to it. I never will be and if the day comes when I am it will be too late because he will be a dead old man then and he will probably have himself cremated so…
    • 10 July 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  98. This week in the news #47 blague
    • It’s hard for me to say that because I admired him for most of my life which means I was dead, stupid wrong. It’s also easy for me to say it because it’s true.
    • 17 February 2009
  99. The problem with Sedition·com blague
    • The site makes Yuban money today. I’d have it make Kopi Luwak money going forward. ¶ Plus, I have been using Google Analytics and discovered the site has a much larger dedicated readership than I
    • 18 November 2006
  100. Return of the Revenge of the Afternoon of the Living Yellow-Jackets blague
    • Plus the trout smolt that would not have food might starve. I put together mechanical contraptions in mind. I’m quite good at this. A man whose brain I admire, classical pianist, satirist, and…
    • 21 October 2008
  101. do you know what a Markov chain is? well, then this won’t help at all.
    • ¶ He picked up, had sex for the prizes. To improve the world. I could not bring him down is tell the monkey and admirable that kind of a family let him in. She wasn’t there. Oughta be a hero to many.
    • 5 May 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  102. Chapter Twelve
    • I shall live here, in my own house. I shall take my food from the earth by the toil of my own hands. I shall learn many secrets from my books.
    • 21 May 2007
    • » Anthem by Ayn Rand
  103. This week in the news #5 blague
    • Ask me again about Osama bin Laden. I know I said I never met him. But you’re still torturing me so I know now that I was wrong. We’re best friends. Of course!No, no, wait!!! Please.
    • 27 October 2006
  104. the pecker affair
    • ¶ Tammy and Buddy’ve been my best friends in New York since I got here. So I totally blew ’em off and jumped on my bike and pedaled east like I had a rush or something.
    • 17 February 2008
    • » Esoterica
  105. XXI. An Air Scout for Zodanga
    • ¶ On this trip I tasted the first meat I had eaten since leaving Earth—large, juicy steaks and chops from the well-fed domestic animals of the farms.
    • 22 August 2007
    • » A Princess of Mars
  106. Paul is dead blague
    • I really like Paul McCartney’s music. I don’t love it. I don’t own much of it. But I really do like it a lot and I turn up the radio when it appears. ¶ I love John Lennon’s music.
    • 26 March 2007
  107. the Washington Mutual Tower and the Devil
    • I tried to apologize but it knew I had no money so it wouldn’t listen. ¶ My building is just wrong to have a view of it. There is the Crowne Plaza Hotel in the way.
    • 14 February 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  108. Microsoft is not long for this world blague
    • … leverage to force hardware vendors to bundle your products so that you can charge customers anything you want. Winning doesn’t take innovation. Innovation is expensive and time consuming.
    • 26 November 2002
  109. all about horses and a bull too
    • I was 15. I’ve been continuously employed since then (barring school) until I came to Seattle. Nobody wants to give me a job in Seattle. Maybe I haven’t stressed my qualifications.
    • 20 June 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  110. Self-help American-style blague
    • I don’t have as many friends as I’d like. ¶ See #3 and reverse sexes. ¶ 6. I’m insecure and always unsure what I’m doing is the right thing. ¶ You need immersion therapy if you are ever to be happy.
    • 14 December 2003
  111. Viewer mail: underage pornography blague
    • I know because a few of them have written me. ¶ Some of of the searches are certainly kids. Imagine all the 10-15 year old kids out there whose parents have told them nothing about sexuality.
    • 2 March 2007
  112. fsxkcd blague
    • ¶ Fox: What’s “well?” ¶ Ashley: You know… get popular, make money, so on. ¶ Fox: You mean like xkcd? ¶ Ashley: That’s not good cartooning. That’s good writing. ¶ Fox: Ah… …I see. ¶ Ashley: Fuck you!
    • 17 December 2006
  113. too many Russians are writing long books
    • … weakness that the communists gave up after the world ran out of money to make movies in the 30s; everyone else got movie money back except for Russia.
    • 21 February 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  114. Recycled QWA [queries from the weblog addressed] #5: The revenge of “Kill All Americans” blague
    • We have a saying. Put your money where your mouth is. What kind of American would I be if I were willing to kill my countrymen for some silly ideology to which I don’t subscribe? ¶ The resistance in…
    • 27 February 2007
  115. Hacker anathema: all about Zed blague
    • ¶ Stuff like this makes me want to cheer because I saw Amazon do the same thing and it hurt like hell. So, he gets an olé or two out of me.
    • 6 January 2008
  116. The secret of my lack of success blague
    • Colored me green. ¶ Even I, though. In Taos after a year’s hiatus and right before the final issue I ran into Christian Mayer and his belle and upon introduction she said, “Oh, no way.
    • 28 February 2006
  117. This week in the news #48 blague
    • ¶ The biggest cowards I see in the issue are the immensely successful and wealthy blacks in the US who still find the time to bitch about how racism has harmed them.
    • 22 February 2009
  118. The real lesson in James Kim’s death blague
    • ¶ …Congress should change the law so that most recent credit card and phone-use records can be immediately released to the next of kin in the event of an emergency.
    • 8 January 2007
  119. The Emperor’s New Clothes
  120. Obituary after the fact: Kurt Vonnegut blague
    • … anti-knowledge tripe one ingests as intellectual comfort food. The predictability with which this behavior emerges from a certain type of mind as it nears its appointment in Damascus is sad and…
    • 11 April 2008
  121. Being a poor… blague
    • ¶ Being poor is wondering if your well-off sibling is lying when he says he doesn’t mind when you ask for help. ¶ No, that’s being insecure because of your craptastic upbringing and personal…
    • 12 September 2005
  122. seasons of the electric witch
    • i know i ask a lot and your intuition will tell you what you are but not what you were made for, it’s a long list but i’ve been keeping score: there’s no truth in the meaning or freedom from the…
    • 26 April 2007
    • » An irony more ferrous
  123. This week in the news #43 blague
    • Little plastic flags are trash. Buying them sends US money overseas and supports one of the only governments with worse human rights than we’ve got, and passing them out is anti-conservation and…
    • 7 September 2008
  124. Articles of Impeachment of President George W. Bush blague
    • … by stating “I have reauthorized this program more than 30 times since the September the 11th attacks, and I intend to do so for as long as our nation faces a continuing threat from al Qaeda and…
    • 12 June 2008
  125. Recycled QWA [queries from the weblog addressed] #6: Why should a president be impeached? blague
    • … wars, funding foreign terror groups and dictatorships, funneling money into personal interests, approving assassinations, putting Americans in prison camps, or pardoning horrific criminals—like…
    • 27 March 2007
  126. JOSEPH INTERPRETING PHARAOH’S DREAM.
  127. This week in the news #10 blague
    • Or steal more if he has a good lobbyist. ¶ Pentagon gets some Americans’ bank data –and– Military Is Expanding Its Intelligence Role in US ¶ Because these are requests for information rather than…
    • 14 January 2007
  128. The Finances of the Revolution
    • … financier” because he labored night and day to find the money to meet the bills which poured in upon the bankrupt government. When his own funds were exhausted, he borrowed from his friends.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER VI
  129. the book of embraces, chapter Delia
    • ¶ She said, “I’ll probably get sick if we have sex but we could do other things.” ¶ He knew she was too drunk for other things too. He let her go to sleep. That took all of three minutes.
    • 9 April 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  130. The Currency Question
    • … silver in a silver dollar on the open market, men will hoard gold money and leave silver money in circulation. When, for example, Congress in 1792 fixed the ratio of the two metals at one to…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER XIX
  131. Failure is not an option, it’s a dead certainty blague
    • ¶ So it seems we’re back where we started since the only way to avoid that hypothetical failure now is a time machine. ¶ [Hangman’s Noose] ¶ Iraq without me is nothing.
    • 30 December 2006
  132. This week in the news #29.2 blague
    • … everything that I have, even just to have a pillow at night or food. ¶ I’m not a criminal, I’m not dangerous. …It’s hard but I’m stronger every day. ¶ Associated Press ¶ …Fuck.
    • 23 June 2007
  133. This week in the news #59 blague
    • After hearing this news, I will be buying a Starbucks coffee in the morning and I might just make it a Monday ritual. ¶ Obama signs one-year extension of Patriot Act ¶ Do you really, honest to God…
    • 1 March 2010
  134. the book of embraces, chapter Alex
    • It was difficult for him but he managed. They did not have sex. They never did. Not even when they had dated before, though the first time they met she wrote the words, “I love you,” on his leg while…
    • 4 March 2008
    • » The Book of Embraces
  135. ㄷ/ㄸ
    • … ¶ 독일 Germany ¶ 독일말 German language ¶ 독일사람 a German ¶ 돈 money ¶ 돈(이)드-ㄹ- costs money ¶ 돌아가- goes back, returns there ¶ 돌아가시- die, pass away (honorific) ¶ 돌아요-  comes back, returns here ¶ 동네…
    • 28 November 2007
    • » Leon Kuperman’s Korean—English Dictionary
  136. This week in the news #31 blague
    • … a share of a $660 million settlement over allegations of clergy sex abuse. AP, Gillian Flaccus ¶ How is it that raping kids only gets you a fine? ¶ Let’s explain this in its wider context.
    • 21 July 2007
  137. The Promise and the Difficulties of America
    • … Spanish coins, and the public was even defrauded by them because money changers were busy clipping and filing away the metal. Foreign commerce was unsettled.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER VII
  138. This week in the news #27 blague
    • Injustice. Money. Rich and white. LA. Blah, blah, blah, blah. ¶ I think this is the best news story of the year so far for one reason: it has made it much harder to pretend pride in America.
    • 8 June 2007
  139. Scrimshaw by Murray Leinster
    • ¶ Instantly the rockets cut off, drums of fuel and air and food came out of the cargo-hatch and Pop swept forward with the dozer. It was a miniature tractor with a gigantic scoop in front.
    • 11 December 2007
  140. PERSONIFICATIONS.
    • ¶     I wrestle and frown, ¶     And topple down; ¶   I wrench, I rend, I uproot; ¶     Yet the violet ¶     Is born where I set ¶   The sole of my flying foot, ¶ [Hands violets and anemones to…
    • 19 May 2007
    • » Poems by Christina G. Rossetti
  141. 50 queries from the weblog addressed, Vol… blague
    • Unfortunately, not any better than before. ¶ How do we know that the first living things did not require oxygen? ¶ Because there was very little free oxygen back then.
    • 1 March 2004
  142. George III's Ministers and Their Colonial Policies
    • This law was aimed at the “cheap money” which the Americans were fond of making when specie was scarce—money which they tried to force on their English creditors in return for goods and in payment of…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER V
  143. Ten Questions to Ask Your Pastor, Reverend, Minister, or Priest blague
    • Why are so many people with money and property Christian if they are probably going to Hell? ¶ Apocrypha and Biblical Revisions. The Bible of 400 CE and the Bible today differ by dozens of chapters…
    • 19 September 2005
  144. To every little boy who is forced to take ballet blague
    • I can save you. ¶ Sneak out. Take karate and savate and ninjutsu and use your Christmas money to order the cocobolo nunchucks with a chain and ball-bearings.
    • 12 December 2003
  145. Mercury and the Woodman
    • … was all he possessed with which to make a living, and he had not money enough to buy a new one. As he stood wringing his hands and weeping, the god Mercury suddenly appeared and asked what the…
    • 2 April 2007
    • » The Æsop for Children with pictures by Milo Winter
  146. Underfunded study: that evil profit motive causes cancer blague
    • I know the pharmaceutical industry is a mess and I wouldn’t put it past most of the companies to be greedy and stupid but I used to work in a copy shop. Ha-ha! Take that, segue.
    • 29 January 2007
  147. My missing execution: Custer’s rout blague
    • … to be continually remade because white America spent all its money killing each other over the economics of slavery and was growing westward where more gold kept turning up in the craptastic…
    • 4 July 2003
  148. Selected Press for Sedition·com
    • … world tries to sell their product within the realm of sex is by trying to sell the sex to their audience. This is accomplished in many of different arenas, one of which is by the phenomenon of beer…
    • 31 March 2007
  149. The consequences of inclimate weather –or– Take an interest blague
    • Its sobriety strikes me. I have learned that my general fears—public climate science is being done by those who fundamentally underestimate its complexity—were optimistic and the real situation is…
    • 10 March 2010
  150. The Christmas letter, the first page blague
    • Not for lack of qualifications, though. Mostly because I can’t keep using the c-word so much. ¶ The US government is acting like heroes for digging up mass graves and catching Saddam Hussein in…
    • 9 December 2003
  151. The New Democracy at Washington
    • As the money invested and the labor employed in the favored industries increased, the demand for continued and heavier protection grew apace.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER XI
  152. The Wider Relations of Organized Labor
    • … profit from exclusive ownership, and produce by common labor the food and clothing necessary for their support. For a time this movement attracted wide interest, but it had little vitality.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER XXIV
  153. QWA [Queries from the Weblog Addressed] #9: potluck blague
    • I just do it for fun. The next guy’s gonna take your money. If you’re lucky. ¶ alphanumerics only in perl ¶ Try perldoc perlre. Or try [^_\W] or [[:alnum:]] if you don’t have the attention span.
    • 5 April 2005
  154. PBS Kids blague
    • ¶ Zoom ¶ I only mention this show because I want to write about Caroline. There, I’ve done it and I haven’t broken any laws. ¶ Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood ¶ This man died not long ago. February.
    • 21 November 2003
  155. This week in the news #11 blague
    • … dieting Majority of US men report highest ever level of happiness Sex and the City more nihilistic and depressing than ever Vibrator sales climax ¶ [The only two blesséd women in America] ¶ Bush…
    • 19 January 2007
  156. Real American Traitor Award #1: Colin Engelbach blague
    • … Real American Traitor because, in this game, Monday morning traitors count double. The award has no moneys attached but you can rest assured that it will always be here for the world to reference.
    • 11 December 2006
  157. Dear Senator Domenici blague
    • … division, death, mayhem, loss of credibility, and an outlay of moneys which exceeds the damage done by the completely unrelated Al Qaeda by a factor of at least 25 and maybe 125.
    • 10 January 2007
  158. A TOPICAL SYLLABUS
  159. The Western Migration and New States
    • … some rivulet and by kindling a fire they may soon dress their own food.... This manner of journeying is so far from being disagreeable that in a fine season it is extremely pleasant.” The immigrant…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER X
  160. Recycled QWA [queries from the weblog addressed] : project manager dictionary blague
    • ¶ ROIsomething to do with money; bring it up when the serfs get noisy about new hardware, adding team members, or extending the testing phase.
    • 18 July 2007
  161. Slavery in National Politics
    • As heavy borrowers of money in the North, they were generally in favor of “easy money,” if not paper currency, as an aid in the repayment of their debts.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER XIV
  162. The Framing of the Constitution
    • … their attacks on property rights such as the issuance of paper money? (9) Shall the approval of all the states be necessary, as under the Articles, for the adoption and amendment of the…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER VII
  163. The Land and the Westward Movement
    • They were bound to pay the owner a rent in money and kind; they ground their grain at his mill; and they were subject to his judicial power because he held court and meted out justice, in some…
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER II
  164. Industrial and Commercial Development
    • The better quality of the fish caught for food was sold in the markets of Spain, Portugal, and Italy, or exchanged for salt, lemons, and raisins for the American market.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER II
  165. The Process of Colonization
    • … shipowners and other persons of means furnished the passage money to immigrants in return for their promise, or bond, to work for a term of years to repay the sum advanced.
    • 29 November 2007
    • » CHAPTER I